kdoggy007

Greetings!

Hey y’all, I know it’s been a while, but I feel like I owe you an explanation. I haven’t been working on Equality (my story, not some deep seated racism or anything). 
          
          I would like to tell you since last year I’ve gotten better with my writing and have improved, but that would be lying. I haven’t progressed on the third chapter since last year; I’ve been stuck around the 4,000 word marker. I haven’t drafted or come up with new ideas for said story. Frankly, I wanted to write so bad I forgot the fundamentals of planning and making a compelling story. I grew tired forcing my thoughts into my story. Writing Equality has never flown from my mind to on screen with ease. Certain scenes came out more quickly than others, with my writing not being well rounded. Every character I made or tried to portray was static, with no character flaws or the inverse, major character flaws that were seemingly solved in the blink of an eye. I guess because if my lack of life experience, I haven’t fully developed the writing skills needed to portray the complex ideas I come up with. 
          
          Maybe it’s a stretch to call my story idea complex, it’s convoluted, at its best. I don’t know what I’ll keeping doing with writing, or even if I’ll continue at all. Currently I’m trying to write a Yang X Reader oneshot to get my creative process back into full swing. You guys might like it, if I ever finish it. 
          
          I’ve always had problems beginning stories. I can write and choreograph action scenes with no problem, and I can cram a story full of fluff, but I can’t progress plot in a logical manner for the life of me. At least in the beginning. The transition from exposition to action is very difficult for me to materialize on paper. 
          
          (Continued in next message, 1/3)

Another problem is I hate everything I publish. With a passion, every time I review my old work I’m never happy with it. Maybe it’s because when I finish the bare bones of everything a rush of euphoria hits me and I want to share it with everyone. I don’t honesty know. But every time I turn and reflect on what I wrote, I end up hating every bit of it. 
          
          Personally, I’ve gotten worse in terms of mental health since I started this account. I recognize the problems I have (very heavy depression) but seeking professional help is out of the question, in any circumstance. I am not and will never be able to deal with the fallout of treating what I have, so it just worsens. Maybe because of this, my creative drive has been extinguished. I don’t know. I’m useless in giving you all answers, as I have none. 
          
          I hope you don’t pity me. I don’t want everyone to pity me. Because I’ve failed you. I promised I’d start writing and publishing my stories for you to enjoy, but I haven’t and therefore broke said promise. It’s a fact, nothing can dispute it. Pity should be bestowed upon those who deserve it. I do not. 
          
          (Continued in next message, 2/3)

To end this shitshow of a note, I’ll add two things. 
          
          Firstly, even if I cannot write on my own, I’m happy to give advice to any writers if they so choose to ask. Don’t be afraid to ask and talk to me like I’m a real person. 
          
          Secondly, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for anyone who ever enjoyed my stories. I’m not giving up, but I’m so far from any goal I’ve set for myself that I will probably never reach it. I’m sorry to all of those who watched me, I’m sorry to those who hope for my stories to continue. I’m sorry to all of those who I’ve let down. I know by now, my apology is useless, but this will help me rest my guilt conscience, even if I’m wrong in apologizing.  
          
          
          I have so many snippets of stories, but I’ll probably never finish them. I’m sorry. 
          
          I don’t know how to end this, I really don’t. There’s so much more I can say, but I can’t vocalize it. I’m not sure what my stories need. I’m not even sure what I need. Maybe a fresh start? Who knows? I sure as hell don’t. I’m just going to put this out here and hope that someone reads it and find closure, or even just helps them understand why I’ve been absent a bit more. It probably won’t happen, nobody reads my messages anyway. 
          
          - Love
          kdoggy007
          (3/3)

THNX 4 the following, might I ask how you found me

Thnx 4 the follow. Is this a response to my DeviantArt post?

Hallooo~

Thank you for following. Hope you enjoy the stories 

Hi not to be rude but when is the remake of the rwby story going to be made or is it on a different website