Ok guys, it's indeed right that I am quite busy due to my final exams rn but that's not the only reason that I'm not as much online as before or as I wished I was.
Tbh i lost motivation.. like fr, idk why or for how long but ik that that already happened once in fall and I wasn't online for 3 months at that time but I try not to let the same happen again, cause you all ain't deserved that I just leave out of nothing.
Another reason is, that I'm feeling foggy lately, ofc not literally but my head is fogged and I'm easily more tired than usual. And I can't concentrate on the easiest things anymore sometimes.
And even though school's kinda better and I am even now officially ★friends★ with that one classmate I already told about.. I'm feeling lonely but it's not like I lack friends (I don't need much) or family.. it's just that I sometimes wake up late at night and wish someone would sleep next to me.. someone I can cuddle with, smile at, talk about everything with.. and it's impossible cause it's realistic that I won't in the next three years, at least cause I still have school and my dad's strict, and I didn't even had a crush yet..
And I just don't know what to do anymore, cause sometimes I ask myself what's even the purpose of my life, why I even try so hard to keep everything up just to let it fall again..
And pls don't missunderstand. I'm ok, I'm fine but I just feel like somethings missing and I don't know if It's a purpose, someone to hold or just motivation but I try, really try to keep up my smile, so no one has a reason to worry :)
(Sorry it's so long but thank you for reading anyway <33 ~ no emo)
