alan

Hi Alan! I hope you remember me! :$ It has been so long, oh my goodness

Hi, Just wanted to drop in and let you know about a new club on Wattpad. Something geared a little more to the gentlemen on the site.
          http://www.wattpad.com/club/40-the-pub
          The Pub is a place for readers and writers of any genre, but the idea is to help out the minority of males on the site. Whether you are a guy who likes to write, need tips on creating male characters or just want to hang around with the gents, this is the place to come. Cheers, Gav

Hi Renzy
          
          You're keeping the story going very well. Still no mention of condoms though. Tut-tut!
          
          Like me you write with pen and ink first, and revise to find the best way of expressing ideas. Some writers, even very successful ones, claim to write easily and get everything right first time. There may be a very few exceptions, but generally this doesn't work for me when I write or when I read other authors work. I see most commercially published fiction as a pastime to fill people's idle moments, and I can't be bothered with it.
          
          I've read "My Life as Ri" all the way through to the end of chapter eight. You communicate some of the feelings of helplessness a lot of kids must feel when confronted by harsh situations, so I hope you persevere with the story, even though it means more hard work!
          
          Kind Regards
          Alan

Hello Kayce
          
          I've read your story and think you have developed a promising situation with with Sam and Derek both having been bereaved, and your descriptions of the funeral, moving home and the new town are all good.
          I wonder if more about Sam's memories of Brandon might have been included, e.g. places they liked to go, interests they shared, or plans for a future trip they had to cancel.
          If I took a guess at the ending it would be that Sam and Derek fall for each other. I don't know how long you want the story to be, but there is lots of scope for building in new twists and turns in the plot. (Incidentally, why did the Aunt and Uncle call on their new neighbours at such an early hour?)
          
          Actually I am not a very suitable person to comment on a teenage love story, being male, gay and so very much older, but its often useful just to know what other people make of what you've written.
          Well done for getting this far with your story, and for tackling the difficult subject area of bereavement.
          
          All the best,
          Alan

Hey there,
          I just started a new story called Lets Pretend My Tears Are Raindrops and I'm looking for some good feedback. Actually, I read your comment on MsRenzybenzy's story and I loved how you told her how she could improve it-- thats what I need. If it's good I want it to be better, you know what I mean? 
          Anyways, thanks for taking the time to read this and I think I'm going to check out some of your stuff now.
          :D