khushixskz

Stop lying to yourself, Sugar plum 
          Who said that you can't feel the pain of others? It's not true. Why are you even believing that?
          Look, make me a promise. You won't cry till tomorrow.
          You are going to hold that all back. Crying about it won't make the pain reduce but it will make you more and more weaker. The time is still left. The strength is still in you. What do you think? Will you be able to be happy again like you were used to? Or will you never heal again? Tell me what you think about it with your own heart.

Why am I like this? Why can't I feel pain for the people that I love? Everyone around me feels hurt if their loved one is hurting but why can't I feel others' pain? Why am I so different? Felix got into a car accident today but I'm not one bit affected by it. My dad was crying last night but why am I not affected by it? My best friend is constantly hurt because of me, why does it not affect me? Why is all the pain I can see is of myself? Why can't I feel the pain others have? Why am I such a bad person? 

i was never someone's first choice, though it didn't hurt so much back then. with you, it hurts more than anything in this world. i wish we could go back to how we were. i miss the days when we didn't argue so much. yes, i do initiate all the arguments but that's because my stupid ass expects so much. but i promise that from now on, i'll never bother you. i promise i won't say a word even if it kills me. because after all it's true that you should only value the one who values you or else you'll always be hurt. like a fool i loved you so much that i hurt myself because of that. words are something that hurt to me more than anything ever does. i didn't know back then that why i don't love my dad the most anymore, but now i know the answer. because of all the things he has said to me when was mad, because how he always lashed out at me for showing my emotions, like crying. because of how he had compared me to the person i hate the most in the world. and because of how my step mother was forced into our lives, i don't like her one bit because she always demotivates me and rants on me. because of how he thinks all the problems are with him only, and how i can't have any real problems because i am too young for that. but i still don't know why i love you the most now. your words hurt me more than anything ever did. the way you chose livia over me and just agreed to not talk to me anymore has left a scar that will never heal. after all, toote rishte ki dor agar jud bhi jati hai to bhi usme ganth pad jati hai. even if we make it up to each other again, it'll never be the same. i need help but no one is there to help me. it kills me every day. you have no idea how much i've been crying since the start of february. i hate her, i hate her so much. she is the person whom i hate the second most in my life. it hurt the most when you defended her over me, it hurt the most when you picked her over me, it hurt the most when you talked about her nicely. it was better to have no one.

honestly, throughout my life, deep inside, i've never felt alive. the way you used to touch my soul was always so sweet and lovely. no matter how far apart we were, you'd always pick up the phone. but now i'm truly all alone in this world, i miss the way you felt so close to my bones. i, i'm sinking in the deep end, i'll just try-y-y-y to cry myself to sleep. please stop this pain.

How do I mourn what never lived?

give me albums (T_T) in desperate need for skz albums rn. can someone get it for my birthday? (T_T)  ...    ...
                                                    ...    T^T    ...
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it hurts to hold on but i can't let go, not when i realised that i'll be dead, not when i realised i'm nothing without them.

why am i like this?

Heya!

Y u delete it?