𝔖HE [WHO]… 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐒

i’ve already spoken to nick and evangeline about this,  but i want your perspective.  i’m going to quit my job and leave shield.   *   she finally revealed,  awaiting kalina’s reaction   *   i’m tired,  kali,  and i need a change.  i just don’t know what that change is going to be.  i’ve got a few ideas of what i could do but the last thing i want is to leave,  get bored and then go back again.  

@shieldsagent-    ( … )     [      her   eyes   rolled,   shaking   her   head   but   she   couldn’t   help   but   let   the   satisfied   amusement   flicker   over   her   expression   at   alyssa’s   quick   movement   of   removing   herself   from   the   couch.      ]     I’m   mature,   thank   you   very   much.       [      kalina   defended,   before   she   let   her   gaze   wander   over   her,   her   back   straightening.     ]    okay…   what   is   it ? 

*   as soon as she sat,  she was up again,  nose scrunching at the comment kalina shot back with   *   i’m guessing you and this mystery partner of yours have already broken in the new couch then.   *   she muttered,  opting to lean on the arm of the couch instead   *   i’m glad you’re settled.  that’s one more step towards maturity for you,  sestra.   *   the brunette joked,  though it really did warm her heart seeing her sister settling   *   i didn’t mean to worry you,  but i just wanted to get your opinion on something that’s been on my mind for a while. 

@FANGEDFXCK     ( … )      [       kalina   rose   her   eyebrow,   tilting   her   head   to   the   side   as   she   studied   the   vampire   in   confusion.      ]       …   shimmering ?   I’ve   never   heard   that.     [      she   didn’t   understand   the   reference   he   was   making — then   again,   she   was   still   trying   to   catch   up   with   some   things   since   the   red   room   had   collapsed.   a   faint   chuckle   left   her   lips   as   she   turned   her   face   upwards,   letting   the   sunlight   kiss   her   skin   as   she   left   him   lingering   in   the   doorway.       ]      so   you   really   are   nocturnal ?   sleep   during   the   day ?   night   shifts   at   the   hospital   only ? 

[ Lucian’s hand lingered on her cheek for a fraction of a second longer than necessary, his thumb brushing her skin with a rare, hesitant softness before he slowly let his hand drop back to his side. At her mention of jealousy, a subtle, sharp tension flickered in his jaw a brief breakdown of his defense mechanism that proved her words had hit remarkably close to a truth he wasn't ready to voice. A heavy, quiet sigh slipped past his lips, his rigid shoulders dropping just an inch as the stoic mask he usually wore completely fractured. He wasn't going to admit it aloud, but the sheer intensity in his eyes spoke volumes. Instead of stepping back or pulling away to grant her that distance, he remained standing right where he was, completely invading her personal space. He stayed rooted close enough for her to feel the warmth of his breath, his dark eyes locked onto hers with absolute sincerity as he searched her face for an answer. ] " I meant I should go because I thought maybe you needed some space, " [ he murmured, his voice low and steady, entirely devoid of its usual clinical detachment. He tilted his head slightly, his gaze dropping to her lips for a split second before locking back onto her eyes, delivering the question with quiet intensity. ] " Do you want me to stay ? "

@bloodshed    ( … )      I   shouldn’t   have   accused   you   of   being   jealous.      [       it   was   the   softening   of   his   gaze   that   finally   let   the   tightness   in   her   chest   ease.   for   a   moment,   she’d   been   certain   he   was   disappointed   in   her — not   that   she   would   have   let   that   change   who   she   was.   kalina   was   unapologetically   herself,   always.   still,   the   thought   would   have   lingered   like   a   splinter   for   the   rest   of   the   night   if   that   tension   had   continued   to   roll   off   him.      ]     good.   because   I   wouldn’t   lie   to   you.     [      her   head   tilted   almost   instinctively,   leaning   into   the   warmth   of   his   touch   before   she   even   realised   she’d   moved.   she   blinked   up   at   him,   expression   carefully   unreadable   save   for   the   faint   furrow   between   her   brows   at   his   last   words.   keep   going ?   keep   going   where ?      ]    would   you…   prefer   to   be   alone   then ?     [      she   didn’t   want   him   to   leave — not   even   a   little — but   she   wouldn’t   cling   to   him   if   solitude   was   what   he   desired.   the   trouble   was,   she   couldn’t   read   him   right   now,   not   the   way   she   sometimes   could.      ] 

[ He didn’t take the glass immediately. Instead, his dark eyes locked onto hers with a quiet, penetrating focus, his mind dissecting her words with the same clinical precision he used for targets. / Married / . The word echoed in his thoughts, bringing with it an unfamiliar, sudden lightness in his chest a wave of relief he hadn't anticipated and didn't entirely understand. The cold tension gripping his shoulders completely dissolved. Why should he /  care / ? It was her past. Everyone had a history, and a past didn't make someone untrustworthy. But as he looked at her, a bitter, silent truth settled in his mind. She assumed he had one night stands; she thought he knew what it was like to seek comfort in another's arms. In reality, he had never shared a night with anyone. While the female assassins of the
            
            Veilborne surrounded him daily, he had never once darted to look at them with desire. They were nothing more than fellow blades. He had been forged as a weapon, a lethal tool that knew nothing of life, intimacy, or warmth outside of blood and duty. He was empty in ways she couldn't fathom, yet hearing her open up didn't spark anger it brought a strange sense of respect. Breaking his rigid posture, the sharp, mocking undertone from before completely vanished, replaced by a rare, quiet sincerity. ] " It doesn't bother me, " [ he spoke softly, his voice low and steady.  Lucian closed the small distance between them, his features shifting from a perfectly still mask to something unreadable but decidedly gentler. He reached out, the tips of his two fingers lightly grazing the curve of her cheek a touch so light it was almost hesitant, a stark contrast to his usual lethal demeanor. ] " If you want to stay, it's okay to be here. I might keep going. "

@FANGEDFXCK    ( … )     [     she   wiped   the   flat   side   of   her   blade   against   her   forearm,   before   sliding   it   comfortably   back   into   its   holder   against   her   ribs.   usually,   kalina   was   cleaner   with   her   deaths,   but   this   one   had   been   particularly   nasty,   and   the   evidence   was   splattered   across   her   face.      ]      me   what ?   you   realise   that   if   I   was   an   assassin   who   got   squeamish   at   the   sight   of   blood,   it   would   be   a   big   problem   for   me.     [      she   mused   bluntly,   before   her   sharp   and   assessing   gaze   moved   over   to   him.      ]      I   hope   this   isn’t   tempting   for   you. 

@killerwidows 
            
            Not many, no... they can get so squeamish with it - but you...

@FANGEDFXCK    ( … )      coming   from   the   vampire,   I’m   sure   that   you’ve   said   that   to   many   women,   mikhailov.     

@SUNSWALLOWING     ( … )      bold   of   you   to   assume   that’s   why   I’m   here.     [      a   flicker   of   genuine   amusement   passed   over   her   hues   as   she   glanced   over   at   him,   waiting   for   the   contents   to   download   onto   her   memory   stick.   it   was   true   though — she   didn’t   know   much   about   mikhail.   then   again,   she   doubted   that   he   knew   much   about   her   either.   kalina   wasn’t   exactly   an   open   book.   her   back   straightened,   brow   raising   as   her   arms   folded   over   her   chest.        ]      getting   bored   of   an   opponent   that   doesn’t   fight   back ?     [     the   female   assassin   asked,   gesturing   to   the   punching   bag   as   she   made   her    way   over   to   the   outskirts   of   the   ring.   her   footsteps   were   silent   with   each   step,   proving   her   reputation   as   a   ghost.   then,   without   a   word,   she   unstrapped   her   weapons   from   her   body,   placing   them   one   by   one   on   the   table   to   the   side.   as   she   was   waiting   for   the   download,   she   might   as   well   entertain   herself.     ]      alright,   arsenyev.   no   weapons   allowed,   other   than   ourselves.   no   holding   back   either.   first   one   to   tap   out   ends   the   match. 

@killerwidows 
            
            [  His head tilted. Still, he couldn't see anything. His pulse thumped hard and angry in his ears, sweat and heat overtook his body strong enough to deem him immobile the second he decides to rest. Which is why he held onto the barricade of rope due to its weak stability. It is not trusting enough to rely on, but Kalina - for some reason she was. Mikhail found himself not worried, for the first time, when it came to his belongings being muddled with. He saw her mess with the keyboard, her gaze focused on the screen, and lingered there watching her before stepping away. ] There are other ways you can get to know me. A conversation is one. [ The Russian replied, pushing away from the rope and tapping the punch bag with one gloved fist before delivering a harsh low kick to it. The chain screeched, but his ears must've gotten used to it by now because he hardly reacted to it. ] Fighting me is another.

@SUNSWALLOWING    ( … )     [      kalina’s   gaze   fixated   on   the   computer   screen,   only   listening   to   the   rhythmic   thuds   of   his   fists   against   the   bag.   her   teeth   chewed   the   inside   of   her   cheek   as   she   focused,   eyes   flitting   quickly   across   the   long   coding   on   the   screen.   she   retrieved   her   memory   stick   from   her   belt,   hooking   it   into   the   laptop.   she   didn’t   tear   her   gaze   away   even   as   she   responded   to   his   question.     ]      don’t   mind   me.   continue   with   what   you   were   doing   before.   I’d   / hate /   to   interrupt   you.     [      she   answered   smoothly,   the   corners   of   her   lips   twitching   as   she   typed   something   else   onto   the   keyboard.   her   head   tilted.   bingo.      ] 

@bloodshed    ( … )      [        she   was   a   killer — one   trained   since   childhood   and   yet,   when   she   had   been   so   close   to   killing   him,   it   had   terrified   her.   but   she   ended   up   shaking   her   head.       ]      no.   you   didn’t   make   me    do   anything.   I   chose   it.     [      kalina   whispered,   letting   out   a   breath   she   hadn’t   realised   she   had   been   holding   when   she   felt   the   thrum   of   his   pulse   against   his   wrist.      ]           I’m   honoured   you   trusted   me   enough   to   shoot   you   in   just   the   right   place…   I   suppose   it   was   bound   to   happen   eventually.     [      a   faint   chuckle   huffed   from   her   lips,   before   her   hand   dropped   from   the   back   of   his   neck.   she   nodded,   pulling   her   head   back   slightly   as   her   eyes   brightened.      ]        deal. 

[ The faint smile on his lips softened, turning into something entirely genuine as he looked at her. For a man who lived in the shadows, the warmth radiating from her was almost overwhelming. He felt the slight tremor in her posture, reading the lingering terror of that night the memory of him bleeding out, of her holding his life in her hands as clearly as a target in his sights. He hated that he had put that look in her eyes. ] " We did cut it too close, " [ he murmured, his voice dropping an octave, thick with an unspoken apology. He leaned into her touch, letting her feel the steady, rhythmic beat of his pulse against her fingers a deliberate reminder that he was here, breathing, and whole. ] " I know what I asked you to do back then. I know the hell I put you through, making you pull that trigger. " [ The lopsided smile returned, smaller this time, but filled with a rare, fierce devotion as his gaze locked onto hers. ] " I promise, Kalina. No more ghosts, and no more playing dead without you there to wake me up. We’re in this together. Till the end of the line "

@bloodshed    ( … )     [     the   corners   of   her   lips   pulled   up   in   amusement   at   his   laugh,   eyes   closing   as   she   allowed   them   this   moment — a   moment   of   peace.   kalina   let   out   a   slow   breath,   eyes   opening   at   his   words,   the   faint   humour   wiped   clean   off   her   face.   she   was   joking   about   it   now,   but   having   to   shoot   him   last   time,   walking   away   from   his   collapsed   body,   having   to   make   it   look   / real /…   she   still   thought   about   it,   even   now.   what   if   she   hadn’t   got   him   to   the   hospital   in   time ?   she   would   have   lost   him,   and   it   would’ve   been   her   own   fault.   her   gaze    lowered   briefly,   before   glancing   up   at   him   again.       ]     we   cut   it   too   close   last   time.     [      she   breathed,   leaning   in   to   the   warm   of   his   fingers   grazing   her   jaw — not   cold,   lifeless   hands,   but   the   hands   of   someone   who   was   / alive /.       ]       are   you   asking   me   not   to   be   stubborn ?     [       she   murmured,   almost   playfully,   before   sincerity   seeped   into   her   expression   and   she   gave   a   small   nod.      ]       I’ll   do   this   with   you.   I   promise,   I   won’t   do   this   alone.   only   if   you   promise   to   do   the   same. 

@bloodshed    ( … )        [       her   vision   clouded   over   slightly   as   she   glanced   down,   his   hand   over   hers.   the   coldness   of   ring   sent   a   sharp   shock   through   her   skin,   a   reminder   of   its   weight,   its   purpose.   her   haunted   gaze   flickered   back   up   to   meet   his   once   he   leaned   forward.       ]      I’m   not   sure   she   would   be   proud…   I   thought   I   was   free   from   them,   but   at   the   end   of   the   day,   I   haven’t   changed.   I’m   still   what   they   made   me,   even   now.   and   the   red   room   are   still   fucking   alive.      [      she   murmured,   shaking   her   head,   but   his   thumb   grazing   her   knuckles   anchored   her   for   a   brief   moment.   she   placed   her   hand   on   top   of   his.      ]      but…   you’re   right.   I   hope   she’s   at   peace   now…   wherever   she   is.   thank   you…   for   keeping   ahold   of   it   for   me.      [       she   mused,   opening   her   palm   to   pick   up   the   ring   and   slide   it   back   onto   her   thumb,   where   it   always   belonged.   and   she   found   herself   feeling   a   sense   of   content.       ] 

[ Lucian remained deathly still as the weight of her confession settled in the air between them. He didn’t flinch at the mention of the Red Room or the chemical mind control; he simply watched the way her hands trembled, his sharp eyes tracking the flicker of grief across her face. The silence lasted a heartbeat too long before he moved not with his usual predatory speed, but with a slow, deliberate softness. ] "  I’m sorry about what happened back then, " [ he murmured, his voice losing its rough edge. He reached out, his gloved fingers grazing her skin as he gently folded her hand shut over the ring, forcing her to feel its cool weight against her palm. ] " It wasn’t your fault, Kalina. She knew who you were the real you, not the puppet they tried to build. She must be so proud of the woman you’ve become. " [ He leaned in closer, his gaze searching hers with a piercing sincerity that felt almost heavy. ] " That is why she gave this to you. It wasn't a burden; it was a piece of her to keep you whole. You should wear it again. Let it be a reminder of her peace, not your pain. It would make her soul happy to see you finally free ." [ A faint, almost imperceptible softening touched the corners of his eyes as he held her gaze, his thumb tracing the back of her knuckles. ] 

@bloodshed     ( … )     [      now   that   the   ring   was   off   her   thumb,   she   was   almost   afraid   to   put   it   on   again.   she   stared   down   at   her   palm,   her   chest   tightening   as   the   memories   of   how   she   had   acquired   the   ring,   resurfaced.   she   hadn’t   told   this   to   anyone.   kalina   couldn’t   look   at   him,   not   risking   the   chance   that   he   would   look   at   her   differently.        ]       the   red   room   didn’t   just   train   us   to   be   the   good   little   soldiers   we   were.   they   wanted   perfection.   they   were   always   searching   for   new   ways   to   push   us   further…   to   break   us   in   ways   we   didn’t   even   understand.       [       she   trailed   off,   swallowing   hard   and   fighting   the   burn   across   her   eyes.       ]       …   they   started   using   chemical   engineering — mind   control.   we   were   their   puppets,   and   we   had   no   control   over   our   minds   and   bodies.   my   friend — she   was   trying   to   create   counteragents.   something   to   free   us.   and   the   red   room   found   out.   I   was   instructed   to   kill   her   so   I   did.   I…   didn’t   even   realise   what   I’d   done   until   it   was   too   late…   she   knew   it   wasn’t   my   fault,   but…   it   was   still   / me /.   she   gave   me   her   ring   as   a   reminder   that   she   didn’t   blame   me—   and   to   tell   me   I’d   promise   to   get   out…   and   I   fucking   broke   that   promise. 

@killerwidows 
            
            [ His gaze briefly fell on her as if to confirm she was still there, alive, in the flesh, and the embodiment of promises he has to keep. Mikhail exhaled through his nose and turned his gaze away from her again, dropping it on his unfinished drink with little to no interest in ever chugging it down. ] Maybe. [ A word he never uses. There was no middle ground in their field, no plan C, no neutral area to step safely into. Yet the heart was a fickle thing to handle, and leaning too far into absolutes will cause you to fall right off the rope like an amateur performer. His index rubbed the details on his glass as if trying to scrape it off before his dark eyes found hers again. ] I learned the more distance you make the closer you are to the thing you're escaping from. I learned that repeatedly working for this team. [ The scar on his face wrinkled as he grimaced slightly at his own words, before a huff and a shake of his head followed it. ] Doesn't matter. Maybe us both are too sober for this. [ He muttered, and brought his glass close, downing the drink like it meant nothing at all. ]

@SUNSWALLOWING    ( … )     [       her   brows   rose   at   his   first   comment,   breath   pausing   as   she   contemplated   his   words.       ]       that’s   the   truest   thing   anyone   has   probably   ever   said   to   me.     [     the   female   assassin   uttered   thoughtfully,   cocking   her   head   to   the   side.   she   had   been   told   in   the   past   that   she   looked   for   details   too   much,   that   she   assessed   everyone   and   everything   with   too   much   scrutiny.   there   was   once   a   time   that   kalina   was   praised   for   doing   such   a   thing,   not   that   she   would   ever   seek   praise   from   the   red   room   now.   that   place   was   buried   for   a   reason.   she   tipped   her   head   back,   downing   the   last   of   her   drink.   she   felt…   buzzed.   she   wriggled   her   fingers   for   a   heartbeat,   glancing   over   at   him.       ]       why ?   ‘cause   we’re   both    cold-blooded   and   had   no   childhood ?   sure.   it’s   the   trauma-bonding.   but   I’m   still   far   too   sober   to   be   having   this   conversation. 

@killerwidows 
            
            If you're a kid, I would mean it. [ He replied quietly, and sat facing his lap and the drink in his hands. He was aware of the sharp analytical gaze on him, of course he was. Kalina had glaciers below her lashes that cut the flesh before a knife reached it. Unlike hers, soft brown eyes lifted to find them in the dim light, searching her festures for a moment before a small smile tugged on his lips; half a frown, half awkward by itself. ]  You work even when you don't.  [ English fell off his tongue like a foreign taste he couldn't chew down all the way. It felt strange to speak it, he felt allienated from himself when he used it. Still, it was easier to express emotions in it than in his mother's tongue.] I'm like that too. I'm not saying this to comfort us both [ He hummed, and turned to face the little window again, watching the flicks of grass sway under the wind like dancers. ] Does it make sense that I hate seeing myself in you?