kimikz

IM SO PISSED OFF RN. maybe I am overreacting, but I literally can't. My mom is yelling at me rn, and I have two options. WellFucking cry or yell back. Probably the first one. Today I have a bday party, a 

HOW DO I DO A TRICKSTAB??????????? ITS NOT FUCKING POSSIBLE I AM FREAKING OUT. HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

note: my pronouns are they/them/he 
          LOLZ my mom showed me a song of women's pride (beautiful song tho) and i joked that "what if i was trans? lol" and she answered me "of course u are not! u dont have any mental illnesses." 
          ayo the enemys closer than you think mama

sorry for yalls notifications, i promise im gonna shut the fuck up ;3
          
          i feel like shit today, but this is lwk helping me. my mom checks all my things (diaries, etc) so writing here without her supervision is good. even if i am talking alone, venting with myself makes me feel better sometimes.
          of course a therapist or a real friend would be way more useful, but i dont have that now lol

i feel really tired today
          like, that kind of feeling that no one really cares
          but well, whatever
          HOW DO YOU ANSWER THE "are u okay" OR "whats that on ur arms" QUESTION????? "yea im not ok im cutting my own arms even if it hurts and im scared to tell u cause im a minor and u would think im crazy or dramatic"
          LIKE WTFFFF
          I WAS WEARING A HOODIE AND I ACCIDENTALLY SHOWED A PART OF MY ARM
          my friend asked me wtf was that, i js said that i had a friend with a cat and it scratched me
          i dont think she believed me
          well
          that same girl is my crush
          she got a bf, hes ugly asf
          she knows im bi, but doenst know abt the crush
          im probably forgetting about it, not that deep tho
          ok bye

today, i saw a person in my school's hall. they were laughing a lot. when i looked at their arms, they had lots of sh scars. fresh ones. it was really weird...
          nobody seemed to notice. nobody really cared. the people were just there, ignoring all of their "hidden" pain.
          the weirdest part was that... 
          the person was me.

YAYYY im writing here now :3
          just posting random things 
          now, 2 ppl know abt my gender :DD they accept it, but they dont really care. still calling me the ass deadname ;)
          better than nothing ig