that's the thing with suicide tho...
There's a lot of us who know full well that we're loved despite feeling that we're not. Personally, I know my family and friends love me. I know it may hurt them if something were to happen to me. But I have also seen them work thru and grow thru their grief, I have seen their lives get better and more stable after they have spent some time pondering and longing for one of our loved ones who have passed on so I am confident that eventually, I'm putting emphasis on thee word eventually, everyone will be okay.
I'm fully confident in the affections that people have for me.
However, what I struggle with the most is my own intrusive thoughts. Though they are unreasonable... They tend to reason with me and convince me that this is a good option for me to take. Not the best option, I know, but a good one.
What upsets me is when there are those who become angry with me and say things like
"you're being selfish, you're not thinking about the hurt you'll cause others."
"what about me? If you thought about me, you would never even entertain these dangerous thoughts."
"why are you even feeling this way, you know I love you, you're just being stupid."
"yeah, well, I deal with suicidal thoughts every day but you don't see me trying to kill myself."
"you have no reason to think that way, you weren't hurt exactly in the way that I was hurt."
"youll never understand what it was like to ensure the suffering I had to, so if anyone should have a real reason for doing this, it should rightfully be me and not you."
"I just think you're being ungrateful, your life is way better than mine. At least you have people who love and care for you."
"you weren't betrayed like I was, so idk why you would want to do that anyways."
....
