Phoenix

I’m about to do something really stupid I think

Anyway, happy homestuck day

April is probz worst month of the year chat icl, I got touched, it’s the month after my attempt, I gotta get birthday gifts for like half my family, and it’s that shitty in between weather where you can’t do anything fun because it’s disgustingly hot but not hot enough to do anything fun like swim because it doesn’t stop raining, April is just straight up miserable please let my life change I’m begging to any existing being to change my life

Waiting for a light that never comes

I love my friends even though they all hate me, I love my parents even though they both hate me, I just wish someone actually gave a shit about my existence, if I was gone nobody would know, nobody reaches out to me I’m always trying so hard to make an effort for them, I’ve paid for so many dinners with my own money I’m so tired, I love my parents but they’re literally just bad and worse, having to cut both of them out of my life sucks so fucking bad I’m so tired

Pluck out my brain cells and eat them even if there’s only two

I’m 19 why am I getting back pain and heartburn??????

I’m bored send me gimmicks !!!!!!! 
          https://wholeeegrwhale.straw.page

Seven—six—eleven—five—nine and twenty miles today 
          Four—eleven—seventeen—thirty two the day before

I hate having dreams of being assaulted so fucking bad, when it happened to me I hated the experience so why is it now I have dreams about it happening? Why do I have dreams where I let it happen, where I wake up slightly wishing it happened just so I could feel loved by someone