.

hey, hope ur doing alright. are you taking care of urself and eating? ( i hope u are ) lol stay safe cus of covid yk.

i think i’ve finally tied it all together

it hurts. god, how much i miss you.

i wanna say something. i do know you're somewhere. i know you're okay, because you were never the type to give up. at least not in that way. if you ever see these letters or just happen to stop by, i'll be waiting. because i'll always wait for you. letting go isn't the word i need to be using. more so, waiting. so i'm not letting go, i'm not replacing you, just waiting. i'll obviously try not to sorry to much amd stuff, but i'll be waiting on you.
          
          the boy who's still confused on his life choices, 
          
          aiden

everyone's done it, and i think i'm ready to let go. if you come back, please message me. because i know that i could never in a million years drop you. you're always gonna be my best friend. but for now, i need to let go and smile. i love you so much, hyun.
          for now this is my last goodbye. please take care of yourself.
          
          the boy who finally let go, 
          
          aiden♡

why can't i let you go? i keep finding myself back here. i keep reminiscing over everything that could've been. i'm still in denial. there's still a part of me that believes you're out there. that you're here somehow. i know you haven't seen any of these notes, but i can't stop. i miss everything. i miss being together and laughing 24/7. and i've tried, i really tried. but i can't. i've tried to find someone to just call my best friend, but i can't bring myself to do it. i can't bring myself to just move on. i want everything i had back. you and xuxi. but it's all gone. god, you'd hit me a million times and hug me if you knew i was crying over you still. i thought putting on the smile worked, but it was only for so long. i've been ignoring everyone and letting people down. i can't find my happiness anymore. all the bad things keep flooding back. everytime i tried to get close to someone, they left. and i just want you back. i want you to teach me french and ramble about your day. i want you and everything back.
          
          the person who can't let go, 
          
          aiden ♡

i know you're gone. and you'll never see this.. but i miss you. everyday without you feels so lonely. i want my best friend back. i feel so selfish, all i ever wanted was for you to be happy. and i hope that wherever you are, you're smiling. i hope you're doing great in french, i hope that being homeschooled is fun. i hope you in general are doing well. i never in a million years thought i'd lose you. i never thought i'd miss you this much either. you will always be my best friend and no one can change that. no one will ever take the place you have in my heart. take care, for me.
          
          from, 
          
          the person who misses you most. 

nice to meet you hyunjin, i'm yuya.