[Please insert pretentious crap about myself here.]

"Chocolate doesn't ask questions, chocolate understands."
"The more you weigh, the harder it is to kidnap you.
Stay safe.
Eat cake."
"A human. Being."
"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."
"I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... Twice a year."
"I always feel sad for seedless watermelons, because what if they wanted babies?"

"Don't look for society to give you permission to be yourself.
 -STEVE MARABOLI"
"The best revenge is massive success. - FRANK SINATRA"
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." - OSCAR WILDE