joy/kiwi

Holy grail and holy shit this motherfucker won't die, huh. I gotta tell y'all (they write on the wattpad where no one is anymore) that i have acieved a dream. Multiple. I've seen pierce the veil live, holy fucking shit i loved it so much 10/10 but i was missing a moshpit, and omg. Ive also seen radiohead. Y'all. ?!?!?! That's insane. Anyways, have a blessed 2026 because i will! I will live!! I will thrive!! And ill bash some brains in and channel my inner Frank, i'm calling it, i'm going to be so insufferable. Hehehehhe

mother and fatherfuckers, i have been rotting in a pile of blankets the last week caus i have NOTHING to do. starting uni in a month but until then? sleeping, gaming, procatinating my writing projects as always, listening to music.... sleeping some more... ugh
          gonna study history, and i feel like rick riordan mightve been a reason behind it. not the only one, but one of them. bored, feeling like march 2020, was not on my bucket list. is this the full circle everyone always talks about? 
          much love, xoxo

wait a fuckass second I never told yall about my first metal concert. 
          
          Alright here we go
          
          It was in February and my gf took me to see brat, full of hell (her fav band), crowbar and napalm death, which were performing together. And hell that was fun. 
          Those people around us were so nice and I felt so safe, as a lesbian with her girlfriend, who were kissing openly. They're all antifa bands so it makes sense ofc, but i was honestly surprised. Not one single bad experience. Not a comment, not a dirty look crossed me. As far as I could see ofc.
          I loooooved the bands. Brat was so fucking fun, the front woman was doing fucking cheers onstage and her energy was lovelyyyyy. Crowbar was mid, I'm sure they're just outta their time. Used to be better for sure. So was napalm death I fear, I mean they were awesome and the pit was insane, but go back in time 15 years and it would've been even better. It's a common dilemma. 
          The things I'd do to be in a 2002 mcr basement show. Although I don't think they could ever disappoint. They're just that good. 
          Anyways, as my gf predicted, full of hell were the best. And I loved them very much. Crazy fucking vocals, and the best thing is that the guy looks like the most usual suburban dad. Which he is. 
          Ugh that was a show. We were front row for them, and 2-3rd for the others, little bit to the side so we wouldn't be totally in pit. I'm prepared for korn in june now, I think. 
          I now possess a brat shirt and memories of a great evening. 10/10 would do again. 
          
          Oh, and she's going with me to ptv!!! Yeaaaaas I don't need to go alone :D 
          Gonna be with a group of people actually so that's even cooler. God I'm fucking hyped. 
          
          Alright, good night now. BB )

put a nail in my limb and call me jesus, the way I always come back. Or jojo siwa with her fuckass boomerang, whatever ya want. I just love coming on here every few months and just ranting my ass of. As if now we are still in emo phase, although I am getting very comfortable here. Probs way more optimistic than most but hey there's always gotta be that one annoying fucker saying there's another day etc etc whenever you're sad. Me for example. Really important actually. Maybe that's why danger days hits me so hard, why I feel like it's /the/ album for me. Ah who knows. In other news, I still am qualified to say I'm  not single (phew), even if she calls me emo loser atleast 2 times a day. She's obsessed with old p!atd tho so who are you talking to right now, doll face? Yeah yeah it's been great. Graduating in a few weeks (what the fuck) is stressful. Going on a trip to Rome in a few days, is not (fuck yeah). Gods above I just love living (yes, you heard me) and I wouldn't have it any other way right now. Well actually, there's a few people I'd like dead but not much I can do about that. Maybe I'll write a song about it and get put out the FBI watchlist. Great does as great does, or whatever they say. (I did, cause I just made that up) 
          
          Stay fresh mother and fatherfuckers, I have business (my ff) to attend. 
          
          random joy out, over. 

I have risen from the dead, I have aquired a beautiful goth gf (actual goth) and got into my (expected) emo phase that's been missing from the character development. Oh and also, I'll graduate next spring (what the fuck) and maybe I'll study creative writing (are you happy 13-yo me?) And be all adulty and responsible... why does my life feel like a coming out of age movie? probably cause it is. 
          
          three cheers for me not being able to listen to anything else than ptv at the moment, I'm failing at life and this is my telephone-joker alright 
          
          Anti-Bonsoir or whatever lolz xoxo 

8====D

I come on here every bloodmoon to talk my ass off basically but I need that I fear. 
          
          Currently missing Berlin btw :( 
          
          And I desperately need more CDs. Its unacceptable that the only foo album I have is echoes silence patience & grace and that I don't possess in rainbows by radiohead. Also, I need my own copies of qotsa albums and def more than a best of system of a down. 
          
          You get what I'm saying. (Probably not) 
          
          Anyways fun fact, my sis came up to me and asked me about Greek mythology the other day and I talked my ass off for several minutes. (Most of them which I spent talking about my fav god, the one and only Apollo. Hah.) Take that you 'why r u reading that, its so unnecessary lolz' mfers. On that note, I loved the pjo series. They did a fantastic job. And it def fueled my obsession with clarisse. Like, dior is so gorgeous it's not even funny anymore. She's my zendaya-gay-awakening all over again actually. Btw no one can tell me that clarisse isn't actually a mean masc lesbian, because that's exactly what she is. Everybody saying otherwise will be silenced. 
          
          
          Enough of me. I gotta get some sleep. 
          
          Bye!!!!! 
          
          Joy xxxxx 

I'm on a musical discovery journey in direction of the metal universe, I discovered nu metal a while ago and it's the thing I've been searching for since literally a few years.
          
           Like I started out with indie  in early 2020 (mother mother etc) .
           Then I moved on to emo and pop-punk (mostly mcr, patd, top, ...) 
          THEN I discovered arctic monkeys which changed the trajectory of my life (literally)
          which made me then get into classic rock/grandpa music(literally) (queen, acdc, all the stuff) 
          then grunge (mostly nirvana (i<3kurt)) 
          and then I discovered my mom's bf ♡ed Queens of the Stone age & smashing pumpkins and I realised that shit was fire cuz he always listened to it in the car and I needed MORE 
          and I came across Rage against, limp biskit, most importantly foo fighters which launched me into a heavy wave of 'oh my god dave grohl!!!' (Loved the book 10/10 I def recc)
          I was like, dude. That guy???? Fuck off he might be the rock n roll Saint I never knew I needed. 
          And well from there on its only a matter of time until I discovered deftones 
          and oh I forgot to mention my britpop phase I had parallel to the am obsession (Blur, Strokes, kings of leon, all of that) lol, 
          Then came Type o negative & Korn (<33) and Slipknot etc
          my people I cannot tell you how much I enjoy sitting in the bus with Jon Davis screaming in my ear at not even 6:30 am.
          Sometimes I can't sleep without everlong on loop, sometimes I can't sit still in class without playing MVs in my head on loop. Dead serious btw.
          
          Its by far the most interesting self discovery time I've had since I realised fictional men don't count as crush and therefore I am in fact a lesbian. LMAO 
          

Tell Jesus, that the bitch is back!! (For the day lolz) 
          
          Random, but I LOVE PEOPLE 
          
          People are so different but so similar sometimes I just love us all and oh my god the feeling I get when I come across a person that shares so many interests with me is unmatched to anything else like BRO you're telling me there's OTHER people who like 1D, listen to my fav rock/metal bands, are cabin 7 despite not being a stereotypical cabin 7 person, and that- YOURE TELLING ME I'M NOT UNIQUE? NOT ALONE? yk how awesome that is???? To know there are people that would GET IT???? not just one aspect of me but like ALL OF IT???? 
          
          Anyways, I did not read atyd but instead started looking actively for good solangelo fics like I've been meaning to since forever. And omg I am in love all over again. Might love them more than Larry atp and THATS BIG. Like REAL BIG 
          
          I just realised I gotta rant. I'll make another post brb LMAO 

okay time for my quartally wattpad visit uhhhh lmao what is going on here.... anyways, guys I am back in my pjo Phase I am living the best life truly and!!! I am probs gonna read atyd soon... guys should I really... i mean I know it's emotional damage and all, I've been told yeah yeah, but it will def open a "new fandom" or yk a new direction of one of my fandoms for me... should I???? 
          
          Anyways what's new uhhhh I love Louis and Harry and his bald head too, I've found peace with it. 
          
          Uh yeaaaa that's it. C yall in a few months lolol