joy/kiwi

I have risen from the dead, I have aquired a beautiful goth gf (actual goth) and got into my (expected) emo phase that's been missing from the character development. Oh and also, I'll graduate next spring (what the fuck) and maybe I'll study creative writing (are you happy 13-yo me?) And be all adulty and responsible... why does my life feel like a coming out of age movie? probably cause it is. 
          
          three cheers for me not being able to listen to anything else than ptv at the moment, I'm failing at life and this is my telephone-joker alright 
          
          Anti-Bonsoir or whatever lolz xoxo 

8====D

I come on here every bloodmoon to talk my ass off basically but I need that I fear. 
          
          Currently missing Berlin btw :( 
          
          And I desperately need more CDs. Its unacceptable that the only foo album I have is echoes silence patience & grace and that I don't possess in rainbows by radiohead. Also, I need my own copies of qotsa albums and def more than a best of system of a down. 
          
          You get what I'm saying. (Probably not) 
          
          Anyways fun fact, my sis came up to me and asked me about Greek mythology the other day and I talked my ass off for several minutes. (Most of them which I spent talking about my fav god, the one and only Apollo. Hah.) Take that you 'why r u reading that, its so unnecessary lolz' mfers. On that note, I loved the pjo series. They did a fantastic job. And it def fueled my obsession with clarisse. Like, dior is so gorgeous it's not even funny anymore. She's my zendaya-gay-awakening all over again actually. Btw no one can tell me that clarisse isn't actually a mean masc lesbian, because that's exactly what she is. Everybody saying otherwise will be silenced. 
          
          
          Enough of me. I gotta get some sleep. 
          
          Bye!!!!! 
          
          Joy xxxxx 

I'm on a musical discovery journey in direction of the metal universe, I discovered nu metal a while ago and it's the thing I've been searching for since literally a few years.
          
           Like I started out with indie  in early 2020 (mother mother etc) .
           Then I moved on to emo and pop-punk (mostly mcr, patd, top, ...) 
          THEN I discovered arctic monkeys which changed the trajectory of my life (literally)
          which made me then get into classic rock/grandpa music(literally) (queen, acdc, all the stuff) 
          then grunge (mostly nirvana (i<3kurt)) 
          and then I discovered my mom's bf ♡ed Queens of the Stone age & smashing pumpkins and I realised that shit was fire cuz he always listened to it in the car and I needed MORE 
          and I came across Rage against, limp biskit, most importantly foo fighters which launched me into a heavy wave of 'oh my god dave grohl!!!' (Loved the book 10/10 I def recc)
          I was like, dude. That guy???? Fuck off he might be the rock n roll Saint I never knew I needed. 
          And well from there on its only a matter of time until I discovered deftones 
          and oh I forgot to mention my britpop phase I had parallel to the am obsession (Blur, Strokes, kings of leon, all of that) lol, 
          Then came Type o negative & Korn (<33) and Slipknot etc
          my people I cannot tell you how much I enjoy sitting in the bus with Jon Davis screaming in my ear at not even 6:30 am.
          Sometimes I can't sleep without everlong on loop, sometimes I can't sit still in class without playing MVs in my head on loop. Dead serious btw.
          
          Its by far the most interesting self discovery time I've had since I realised fictional men don't count as crush and therefore I am in fact a lesbian. LMAO 
          

Tell Jesus, that the bitch is back!! (For the day lolz) 
          
          Random, but I LOVE PEOPLE 
          
          People are so different but so similar sometimes I just love us all and oh my god the feeling I get when I come across a person that shares so many interests with me is unmatched to anything else like BRO you're telling me there's OTHER people who like 1D, listen to my fav rock/metal bands, are cabin 7 despite not being a stereotypical cabin 7 person, and that- YOURE TELLING ME I'M NOT UNIQUE? NOT ALONE? yk how awesome that is???? To know there are people that would GET IT???? not just one aspect of me but like ALL OF IT???? 
          
          Anyways, I did not read atyd but instead started looking actively for good solangelo fics like I've been meaning to since forever. And omg I am in love all over again. Might love them more than Larry atp and THATS BIG. Like REAL BIG 
          
          I just realised I gotta rant. I'll make another post brb LMAO 

okay time for my quartally wattpad visit uhhhh lmao what is going on here.... anyways, guys I am back in my pjo Phase I am living the best life truly and!!! I am probs gonna read atyd soon... guys should I really... i mean I know it's emotional damage and all, I've been told yeah yeah, but it will def open a "new fandom" or yk a new direction of one of my fandoms for me... should I???? 
          
          Anyways what's new uhhhh I love Louis and Harry and his bald head too, I've found peace with it. 
          
          Uh yeaaaa that's it. C yall in a few months lolol 

Yall I can't fucking dvxodjoysixondxl AAAAAAAAAAAA 
          How the fuck is this real I saw Louis, I heard his sexy ass voice life aaaaaaa tell me how the fuck is this real omg shxoxndlyld I got merch!!!! I honestly don't know what to do with my life now....WHAT DO I DOOOOO I CANT PROCESS IT heeeeeelp zhxodbsie HES SO GORGEOUS SO PRETTY SO AMAZING bxsobsdkjd

Just came here to yell about the fact that I'll see Louis in 10 days. TEN FUCKING DAYS 

once in a while it hits me that I am in fact a lesbian which means I'll never have to deal with men and will never have to bother with birth control and I'll never be scared I could be pregnant and my life gets a lot better every time that thought crosses my mind. Bonus points, I get to date hot women yay yay yay 

lil ol me can't process last night... I SAW HAROLD AGAIN!!! despite being super far away, we still had a good place and I had goggles, like a telescope but 2x ykwim idk the word. That was very fucking cool. I cried during fine line, lost my voice during stockholm syndrome and my soul asceded during kiwi (as expected tbh) like... I've heard 23 songs of 35 live now, that's 65% + 2 1D covers!! And 70% of my fav songs of his. My absolute favourite twice. I honestly can't process that. He looked so cute as always and his little german words  "das kino" yes sir, das kino!!! 
          Love him to death, sweet fucking Jesus. 
          
          Now let's see how deranged I'll be after seeing Louis in October 
          
          xx