kjmmchi

I guess I can never be or stay mad at you. You deserve to be happy even if you hurt me. You did those things to survive. At some point, I will always understand. Please be happy wherever you are.

kjmmchi

Loving you feels like a promise
          
          That I’d only half keep at best
          
          So I stay your almost
          
          Your “call me when you’re home”
          
          I love you at a distance, like that’s safer than being known
          
          I can’t risk you seeing how dark it gets in my room
          
          So I won’t be the boy you bet your soft eyes on
          
          I’ll be the quiet choice who loves you, then is gone
          
          I’d hold you, then I’d spiral; lock you out, then beg you back
          
          You deserve a steady shoreline, not this mind that always cracks
          
          So I stay your almost, your “text me when you land”
          
          I love you from the back row, head buried in my hands
          
          I can’t risk you bleeding on the edges of my moods
          
          So I won’t be the boy you build your future on
          
          I’ll be the quiet choice who loves you, then is gone
          
          I’m scared of all my weathers, of the days I can’t get dressed
          
          Loving you feels like a promise that I’d only half keep at best
          
          So I stay your almost, your “tell me when you’re safe”
          
          I love you in the silence, in the spaces I erase
          
          You’re crying through the speaker, and I’m crying out of view
          
          I won’t be the boy who breaks you just by staying
          
          So I’ll be the one, who  breaks  us  by  not risking