elijah

can i pursue you? intentionally. can i try to win you properly this time? :)

hello, my future.
          
          how are you? i miss you lol hahaha safe skies, moonbeam.

Hello, future :)
          
          Just got home. Dropped by a friend’s party tonight, nothing crazy. The moon was out—really clear. For some reason, it kept reminding me of you. Every time.
          
          I’m sober, don’t worry. I’m not calling or popping up on your socials either. Just giving you your space, I’m trying not to bother you more than I should. I only wanted to say that I’m here. I haven’t gone anywhere.
          
          For now, I’m just glad we’re breathing under the same sky.

Hello, my future.
          
          Been busy lately. I got a little too serious with the whole barista thing and—yeah—my granddad actually funded a café. Still processing, nothing official yet. Papers are a headache tho.  DTI, barangay clearance, mayor’s permit, BIR… the adult stuff I didn’t think I’d be dealing with this early.
          
          I’m grinding acad commissions right now because I don’t want this handed to me—I plan to pay him back. Not sure if this was an impulsive decision or just me following another random curiosity, but here we are. Maybe you can visit someday, once it’s all done and settled.
          
          Acads are heavy too, plates after plates, critiques, shooting content, editing nonstop on Adobe, deadlines stacked. Finals are creeping in and everything feels crazy, but manageable.
          
          I saw an airplane earlier while writing this. Thought of you.
          
          Safe skies, baby.

Hello, future :)) yup, future.
          
          Sorry I went quiet for two days. I wish I could call you every time just to tell you what’s been going on, even if it’s just my boring-ass life on repeat.
          
          I miss you, baby.
          
          Wherever you are right now, I hope you’re looking at pink skies.
          
          —Elijah

Hey, future girlfriend :))
          
          been super busy with acads lately. so busy that i didn’t accept any acad commissions the whole week. finally gave myself a break. on the barista side, i’m getting the hang of it. my sister loved the vanilla latte i made for her… hoping you’d love it too someday. as for the camera, it’s all good naman—still having fun experimenting with it.
          
          just got home from helping out at my grandparents’ business. luckily, got some cash again, so i think i’ll just rest for a bit and skip taking acad commissions for now.
          me and my friends also hopped into Greenbelt today. 
          
          sorry for not updating for 3 days, figured you wouldn’t really care anyway, lol. safe skies, baby.

Hey, future girlfriend :))
          
          i finally used the camera i bought. my friends were shocked i actually went for it, and yeah hahah, not gonna lie, i’m basically broke now. spent almost half my savings on it. but idk, that doesn’t matter. what matters is finally using it. it’s insane how much fun it is just holding it, framing shots, seeing things differently. feels worth every peso.
          
          also, made a latte earlier… and yeah, maybe it’s just because i made it, but i actually loved it, lmao.
          
          oh, and i made sure my wife (my car) got the pampering she deserves today too. got her new brake pads, wipers, and a fresh set of tires.
          
          That's all for today. i hope you're doing well there, baby.
          
          —Elijah
          
          

Hey, future girlfriend :))
          
          today was one of those days that felt a little different. i finally got serious about practicing barista stuff. it’s new for me, so i’m fumbling a bit, but i had fun figuring it out. one day, i hope i’ll be able to make you a coffee that’s just for you—exactly how you like it. i know you love coffee, so… it’ll be worth it.
          
          also… i finally bought a new camera. went for the Canon EOS R5. it took me forever to decide, but i figured it’s worth it. i want to try photography soon, and i think it’ll also help me grow in my program. just imagining the shots i could take makes the decision feel right.
          
          today was long, tiring, but fun. it’s nice to have little things like this that make life feel… alive, even if it’s just me figuring stuff out.
          
          —Elijah

To my future girlfriend,
          
          I’m kind of exhausted lately. Acads have been heavy, especially with my program. There’s a lot to consider, a lot to keep up with, and honestly, half the time I’m still figuring things out as I go. I don’t always know what I’m doing, but somehow I still manage my time.
          
          I barely play Valorant anymore. My days are pretty repetitive now—study, gym, eat, repeat. I try to keep a routine that makes sense, something that keeps me sane. I keep myself busy on purpose. When I get space, I walk around the city and look for books I probably won’t have time to finish yet.
          
          My weekends aren’t really rest days. I do academic commissions, help out with my grandparents’ business, and then do it all over again the next week. 
          
          It’s funny because I’m technically talking to no one. Just my Wattpad wall. But I guess this is me updating you—whoever you are, wherever you are.
          
          That’s all for now. I’ll get back to studying.
          
          — Elijah

I may publish the poems I've written about someone specific.
          
          Writing isn’t a phase for me.
          I’ll be doing this until I’m gone.