kokoro

i'm going to be completely deaf one day. best to enjoy my life before it happens

update with the boy I like; yes, I still do like him, it's like an unrequited crush. i may keep it to myself because love hasn't favored me in any circumstance. i still really do like him though, but i want to fool around with more women before making anything serious. i best be enjoying freedom while i can, that kind of saying. I've had plenty of bitches for these past few years, like cartoon, poor guy. and mei, sadly she expressed her racism when I told her I was indigenous which is a pretty big deal breaker for me. i hope to find someone else like that hahaha, sort of like a play thing(?) anyway, I'll update again when i feel like it <3

hello lovelies, i'm currently ruminating over how i could've been with this boy that genuinely liked me and i mutually liked back, but some dumb fuck decided to ruin everything. literally tho. she can fucking rot in hell and i'm glad she barely goes to school because why do i wanna see that shitty ass face of hers? can't wait till i graduate so i don't have to deal with the shit she attempts to pull off. i'm so close to beating the shit out of her nowadays but sadly i have to keep a reputation

planning a concert so i can make some memories for this year

i swear, one day i'm going to punch her in the gut

I lack sleep and my eyes are burning like there's no tomorrow. why can't i just close my eyes. i got some blurays, manga, clothes and other things, but just a game is really making me happy right now. what a fucking loser i turned out to be, seriously tho, i can't wait to run far away from this place, no worries, no bitches, no nothing. just me, my sister and brother are against the whole ass world rn. ive been wanting to run away for so long. ill leave no traces, but no, not now. i have to wait a year and a half to be free from this stupid fucking life. i really can't wait, itll be a house far in the country, beside a hill with a deciduous tree, maybe a pond beside it and a field behind. itll be silent, no nothing, no anything. i always have dreams of running away because it's truly what i want. i ache to leave everything behind because maybe then there ill find the happiness I've been lacking for so many years, gay, what I'm going on about is gay, just a stupid ass dream for someone who was misplaced. but if im not happy in the future, i don't think ill ever be, what a miracle itll b if it somehow ends that way. im going to try sleep now, i just felt like saying this, no reason why, it just came out when i thought that the future me would b seeing this. don't end up like her, leave this place and don't let anyone know where you're going, is what I keep thinking in my head right now. just how much longer do i have to wait 

ight so I've been working out a lot lately because a few weeks before I was stress eating and I suffered from your generic depression or whatever, but now I'm finally feeling better about myself. sore, but better

I'm so emotionally dependent on my mom and she doesn't seem to realize it yet 

expectations of a prodigy student, couldn't be me 

bro I just realized wattpad is a place where I can talk about random shit because no one irl knows about this account. with that being said, I can now safely identify as a biromantic heterosexual. and my crush on that boy is valid. he helped me open my locker yesterday and I felt pleased, not overjoyed, but pleased. he's in one of my classes and we're going to sit together eventually. i already thought of ways to interact with him. we both have a lot of things in common, like how we both love the scent lavender. oh and he told me what he liked about me and it made me happy(!) hes genuinely a sweet person and I can also safely say I actually have a crush on him(!!) i can't wait to talk to him irl