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🎮 PLAYER INFO
👤 Name: Unkown
📚 Class: Professional Reader
🗣️ Occupation: Certified Yapper
⚖️ Side Hustle: Volunteer Attorney for Fictional Men™
💀 Status: Chat... we're cooked.
📢 PATCH NOTES v20.06
✨ Added another fictional man.
🛌 Sleep feature has been removed.
📚 TBR increased by 87 books.
🐛 Fixed bug where user stopped yapping.
❌ Patch failed.
📜 LORE
God gives His toughest battles to His funniest soldiers.
...unfortunately, i fear i'm one of them.
i support women's rights. 🎀
i support women's wrongs. 💋
i support looking at a walking red flag and saying, "your honor... my client is just babygirl." 🥺☝️
i do NOT support school, teachers(any kind)
we listen. we don't judge.
(immediately judges the love interest's haircut.)
🏆 ACHIEVEMENTS
🏅 Accidentally watched the sunrise.
🏅 Opened Pinterest for "five minutes."
🏅 Escaped four hours later.
🏅 Defended fictional war criminals with the confidence of a Harvard graduate.
🏅 Said "i'll sleep after this chapter."
🏅 Lied.
🐞 KNOWN BUGS
• gets emotionally attached to pixels
• giggles at the phone for no reason
• says "hear me out" before showing the most questionable man imaginable
• thinks buying more books will solve the unread books problem
• "just one chapter"
• chronic case of *oopsie daisied into another hyperfixation*
📊 PLAYER STATS
Brainrot ▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰ 100%
Delusion ▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰ 100%
Reading ▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰ 100%
Touching Grass ▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱ 0%
Academic Motivation
ERROR 404
🎯 CURRENT QUESTS
☐ fix sleep schedule
☐ survive school
☐ stop saying "one more chapter"
☐ touch grass
☑ ignore all of the above
💬 NPC DIALOGUE
"i'm going to bed."
⚠️ Lie detected.
📩 MULTIPLAYER
Need someone to scream over books, taekook, dramas, or whatever hyperfixation we're collecting this week?
📍 Insta: Tae's mom✨
🫶 Backup Save File:
@koowannafocusontae
⏳ SAVING...
█████████▒ 99%
ERROR: user opened another book.
- with da shimmy daddy god
- Sumali noongJune 20, 2025
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