love's kpop too much

Please read it
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/377194065

So my mom is planning on beating me up again today cuz she feels I masturbated this morning before school( like she always do) should I speak my mind and end up getting beat even more and get my whole extended family told and maybe even get sent back to Nigeria or I should just let her beat me up again because she doesn't believe me

Not me having my period first day back 

I don't know why every where I am everyone's in love. But online and irl. It fucking hurts. I feel so unwanted and ugly. Not to talk about the shitty lie I told people at school about me having a boyfriend and no one believes it. Instead of dropping it they just keep dragging my self esteem. Like calm down. I'm a Leo but I don't feel like a fucking Leo no more. I'm always so depressed and my mom just says it's because I don't pray enough.