I'm sorry for venting but I totally feel useless and unmotivated now.. tears are just in the corner of my eyes wanting to be released endlessly but it's of no use I don't even know why I'm still alive beside my only reason to take care of my baby girl..there is no hope or excitement or intrest left in me for tomorrow.. it feels like I'm just living not really alive..it crossed all the boundaries when she came into my room just to checkmark bathroom to see whether I really bathed or I lied.. like seriously? What kind of life I'm I really living? Were is the freedom and privacy I'm craving for past 3 years.
Is it all just a distinct dream for me now? Which will never be mine again.. what am I really? A human or a just a slave of your family? What am I living for still? What more do I have to go through in this life? If not for my child, I lost my will to live completely..is this why I got married? Is this what marriage means? Why is it always has to be the girl that has to go through all this were as the boy lives just like he had been from childhood.. why WHY???? I feel like screaming and crying my heart out but i can't.. why? WHY???