kwqns_

i feel like i keep following the same scheme over and over again. in everything I do and everyone i meet now i see everything I did and everyone i met during my first year of high school
          	it all looks so similar, and i can't help but feel uneasy because i know damn well how it ended. and it certainly didn’t end well
          	I mean, it ended badly and I met new people that are my best friends now, but I love my new friends so much, I dont want it to have a bad ending too
          	and even if i tell myself that I know it looks similar because im the one putting myself in those same situations that lowk broke me in shambles back then, oops
          	I can't help it i guess ‼️🧍🏻‍♂️

satooluvr

please don’t hate or blame yourself. you’re loved and cherished, I hope you know that ❤️
• Reply

satooluvr

Either ways, I know how you feel 100%, I really hope you don’t blame yourself cuz tbh I’ve been in your position and I know how it feels to pin the blame of other’s actions on myself. let’s pray for the best and keep it in mind that those who are meant to stay with you, will never walk out on you.
• Reply

satooluvr

you’re literally so me lmao I keep putting myself in the same situation with a variety of friend groups and it’s so depressing and frustrating that for some god knows what reason I always end up stuck going through the same ending with most of them. I’ve reached a point in my life where I genuinely believe I might be the problem now ( even tho most of the situations I’ve ended up in with said friend groups were honestly out of my control or caused by my actions 😭 )
• Reply

kwqns_

i feel like i keep following the same scheme over and over again. in everything I do and everyone i meet now i see everything I did and everyone i met during my first year of high school
          it all looks so similar, and i can't help but feel uneasy because i know damn well how it ended. and it certainly didn’t end well
          I mean, it ended badly and I met new people that are my best friends now, but I love my new friends so much, I dont want it to have a bad ending too
          and even if i tell myself that I know it looks similar because im the one putting myself in those same situations that lowk broke me in shambles back then, oops
          I can't help it i guess ‼️🧍🏻‍♂️

satooluvr

please don’t hate or blame yourself. you’re loved and cherished, I hope you know that ❤️
• Reply

satooluvr

Either ways, I know how you feel 100%, I really hope you don’t blame yourself cuz tbh I’ve been in your position and I know how it feels to pin the blame of other’s actions on myself. let’s pray for the best and keep it in mind that those who are meant to stay with you, will never walk out on you.
• Reply

satooluvr

you’re literally so me lmao I keep putting myself in the same situation with a variety of friend groups and it’s so depressing and frustrating that for some god knows what reason I always end up stuck going through the same ending with most of them. I’ve reached a point in my life where I genuinely believe I might be the problem now ( even tho most of the situations I’ve ended up in with said friend groups were honestly out of my control or caused by my actions 😭 )
• Reply

kwqns_

everyone keeps getting closer and closer and I'm stuck at school, how fun
          not like I ever had any hopes of having sustainable online friends with a family like that, but idk i guess I thought we'd be different 
          how sad that once you're less online people just go to everyone else and slowly forget about you

kwqns_

crying screaming throwing up, I miss china so so much. I have to throw stuff away because I have way too much but what is there to throw away? I loved every second of my life there

SweetHamS

@ kwqns_  hey, I hope you are doing okay... I  am sorry you have to throw your stuff away (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠) it makes me sad for you and I wish I or anyone could help take you pain away but it's not something simple, I wish you lots of love and positive energy and strength as well. You deserve it, ʕ⁠´⁠•⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠•̥⁠`⁠ʔ and I also send you hugs because at least i can do this ～⁠(⁠つ⁠ˆ⁠Д⁠ˆ⁠)⁠つ⁠｡⁠☆
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kwqns_

and with unethical playing in the background oh my days.
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kwqns_

everything i take out of the bags makes me want to SOB
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kwqns_

im SO done with questioning who I am twice a day like cant I have a break from this non stop identity crisis please? its like. youre all sad and maybe its fine you'll be a girl for the rest of your life but ehhhh ykw actually maybe you dont wanna be a boy too you just don't want to be a girl? but then you shower and who the hell is that and you put on a binder and the gender euphoria hits so well maybe you're a boy after all 
          and its like yo you're aromantic until you see a cute awesome couple and suddenly you crave romance like someone who didn't eat for weeks but then you want to read a fanfic because you're lowk obsessed with the show but like. ew romance wth lmao but then maybe you're just an avoidant? but you dont feel scared about romance you just Cannot imagine yourself doing anything romantic at all no matter how sweet the person is. bit obviously you're going to crave it for the rest of your life.

-aleciali

@kwqns_ // dw love everything's gonna work out in the end it always do after all !
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kwqns_

@-aleciali  | OZJDUZJEJ well i'm sorry you do.. 🥲
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-aleciali

@kwqns_ // you don't realise how much i relates to you like 😭😭
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kwqns_

it's 2am and I just finished calling my childhood bestfriend and omg I want to sob i missed her so much (im the one being always offline/not answering...... Oops.) im so glad distance and time didn't change anything between us
          we both changed so much and honestly I feel like we live in 2 different worlds but in the same old one somehow. she still calls me her best friend, and said she didn't think anyone would be a good roommate for her but me IM GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYYYY i really need to call her more.