the aching pain that is you.
throughout the first seven nights
it lasted like i couldn’t
but i don’t feel it anymore.
i miss it because it was you.
“little lotus, when will i start
loving me like i love you ?”
you still see the lotus
do you still dream of me ?
i do.
while you’re out with her
and i wonder what it’s like.
do you still dream of me ?
she’s living my dream
she’s living in my dreams.
tormenting me, as if she is saying
i have what you
desire.
i scream your name
i beg for our connection back
my voice no longer sounds as pure
as the lian hua, the lotus,
but only because i still cry.
she’s so perfect.
she’s so thin.
she’s so dusky.
she’s nothing like me.
oh, it makes sense.
i think i understand.
she is nothing
like
me. she and i are nothing alike,
besides the fact we have feelings for you.
do you not want to be reminded of me ?
is that why you’re with her ?
is she your way of dropping my footnote ?
i hope your thousand friends
remember me and i hope…
hmm, i just hope you’re happy.
i will feel at ease once i know
you’re lively and smiling.
you were so hypnotic, like the caretaker
we don’t have many days
maybe once i’ve experienced
everywhere at the end of time
i could be at peace enough to forget you and move on.
moving on is better said than done
maybe because by me, it’s never finished.
you linger in my mind
lasting like cherry blossoms in spring.
always coming back, even when i don’t want them.
like the caretaker,
what does it matter how my heart breaks
c3. 333, my mental peace
at peace i shall be
knowing you’ve forgotten about me.
the more i think of you
the more i forget my self worth
i hate myself.
when will i start loving me
like i love you.
this isn’t fair.
oh, wait.
i did this to myself.
he told me not to get attached
and i thought he meant to himself.
your voice, it
rings
in my ears.
it’s always telling me
you love me
but do you really ?
it’s wrong of me to question
your feelings, but
i’d just sleep better knowing.
- stuck.
