lap_of_the_queen

Wadsworth from clue is the perfect bachelor. 
          1. He’s intelligent 
          2. He’s funny
          3. He quotes Gone with the wind
          4. He can run quickly 
          5. He happens to be a murderer
          6. He also happens to blackmail people 
          7. He lies about his identity 
          
          And here’s the kicker
          
          8. He’s very dead, like he’s not coming back, ever. 

Am I the only one who doesn’t remember learning to speak English? Like all I remember is the Alphabet and that’s it.
          
          Like wtf? 
          
          Am I magical????