cloverrr

ao like im worse now hahaha
          
          i like ,,,,,, my mental space is so bad rn but i just laugh through it my intrusive thoughts are so ficking bad nd come usually while im at work nd it's gross af but i always know i'd never do it but still it's GROSS .
          
          nd like i should be happy cus nothing bad has happened to me yet i just feel like crying nonstop and throwing shit in frustration. 
          
          i shouldn't be feeling like this but it's happening nd i can't stop it i put on fake smiles nd act like im fine but sometimes most times that's hard but  i still do it.
          
          don't mind me i'm just feeling kinda broken. kinda broken.
          if you need me i'll be here with my emotions, my emotions. 

juat realized i already crashed out on here
          
          sheesh didn't realize ive been feeling like this FOR A WHILE .
          
          

im kinda :/
          
          everything feels like it falling down even tho nothing happened. 
          
          like my mind is makint everything seem ten times worse than it is. im just in a :/ mid mindspace rn and i got people breathing down mt neck asking me if i wanna work their shift (it's one person byt she asked me yesterday ON MY BIRTHDAY OF ALL DAYS) 
          
          i was probably gonna say yes but idk rn cus then i'd be working 5 days in a row nd yeah i need money but like working Thursday Friday Sunday Monday what makes it worse is im working close Friday and the shift she wants me to work is 8am so ima be bitchy if i do do that shift 
          
          
          nd what makes everything WORSE is that ima get my period soon cus i have irregular shiz nd i take pills one a day for trn days then grt my period at some point after it so who knows when ima have ot nd be miserable ppl always say i shouldn't be complaining about no periods but at the same time I COULD GET CANCER FRON NOT HAVING IT!! thas what my doctor told me i could get CANCER so it's something im not happy about not getting. like,, c'mon who wants cancer from not having tjeir period???? not this person. 
          
          
          so everything sucks rn nd at the same time everything is literally chill nd my brain is making everything out as bad so yeah rant of the month
          
          
          luke peace out .

time to rant cus why fhe eff not!?
          
          if people don't want to take me or my shit seriously then im not gonna try wntmire. kike it's ridiculous when i make an applyfic and one single effing person goes through all of them and comments on every character i'm done im so done tha5vmade me so upset last night that i just kept getting mad at every little thing i calmed down after my sister got my to watch thunderbolts* but like it still irritates me like i may have worded shit wrong but i like @ 'd em in the story telling them one character per one person nd shiz like that's hint enough,, is it not!? like to the point i had to edit the page and note one character per one person ,,, like and the audacity to do more today when i deleted their other shit like in so irritated rn just thinking about this and you can't get mad when ima be writing the story this was just something fun i thought of doing but at this point i might as well delete the book honestly i might scrap the whole thing but i know i can't when people actually want to do it but like it's other people thqt ruin it for the rest like in class how one person xan ruin everything. 
          
          if the person ends ip readjng this (you don't follow me here so how, idk) i'm sorry ig but it's irritating and i needed to rant and it's not like im naming names but clues if you look wt the applyfic pretty clear
          
          but anygays that was my rant for tonight tune into tomorrow for more juicey rants woot

i'm like ;;
          
          i got like a crush on like a (kinda) ex girlfriend. like we fr just dated for like one day. my last day of sophomore year her last day of freshman year. SHEEEEE asked MEEE  to be her girlfriend when we've been friends for that whole year since we met during PE that year. she always reminds me how i was her first friend here since she moved here her freshman year we didn't talk at all during the summer and kinda mutually broke it off the start of the next school year. i'm still close friends with her. we actually hanged out today had lunch together just walked through town cus there wasn't much else to do. i literally took a picture of her posted it to my story with the caption "nice date" likeee i was so worried about this secretly being a date but like i kept making fucking dating type jokes. SHE EVEN GAVE ME A FLOOOOWERRR .  it's like i'm feeling so many things nd it's insaneeee
          
          like i still have like TWOOO ONLINE CRUSHES. like no idea where two of em came from but one's kinda fading since we don't talk at all nd i ended up blocking her on snapchat since we hadn't been talking nd i think she resulted in blocking me on texting so that's like going nowhere like literally in January-February of 2025 i was telling her of my crush my FEELINGS and she was even saying that she kinda liked me back like that. I HAD HOPEEE. but she is like 27 and i'll be 20 in september. so it's a bit weee age gap so that probably has A LOT to do with shiz. but like she told me she liked me back just wanted to take it slow then just kinda stopped talking to me. i was putting a lot more effort into even the friendship than she was. 
          
          nd my other crush is just likeee there. we talk a bunch but tbhhh i doubt they feel the same as i do. it's literally just like a tiny one but who knows. idk idk idk. 
          
          but this was me using this account to actually rant lmaooo bye

i needa just use this account just to
          
          rant rant rant ran ra r  . 

5 followers here woop

wam bam thank ya ma'am