it’s been a while since i’ve posted and
was actually *proud* of something.
i’m going into my senior year in two days, i’m turning 17 in three and it was only a few months ago i’ve gotten my heart absolutely beat up by a person i cared deeply about.
i’ve learned so much already in 2019 and i wanted to share a small piece of my ( somewhat still existential ) thoughts on the platform that has always been there for me a my worst; giving a small piece the broken me but shouting that i’ve learned, healed, moved on and can finally be me in a way that i’ve found hard for a very long time. i think i used to care for a long time what people thought and felt about me, on here and irl, but i think that that part of me has finally matured to become something that wants to care for my own feelings instead of other people’s approval. ( not that i don’t want validation, praise and love from y’all and of course some good critique. )
i’ve said many times that i’ve changed, moved on, evolved or become something when in reality that were all just dreams i was impatiently pressing towards to. i’ll say now that i have become something that i am more proud of, but still am a piece that i work hard on to improve.
i’m still here. still alive. still kicking. and still wanting to make a difference. be a voice and grow into someone that i would’ve looked up to when i was younger.
love is pain, i say and there’s a lot of sadness in my work, but the pain is worth it at the end. because if you push through and acknowledge the things around you, you’ll come out anew and better than before. pain makes you whatever you want to be molded into.
thank you for listening to this random ted talk. i just needed to let this out.
love you.
https://my.w.tt/PxwOKQOrqZ