I read your book. It's a really good story but I would like to give you a few suggestions:-
1. Grammar
Your grammar is good enough to understand but, the wrong tenses are being used in a few places and also you're repeating the same words which decreases attention received by the reader. I suggest you to use an app called Grammarly. You can also add it as an extension on your browser.
2. POV
The POV's are being changed very frequently which makes it difficult for the reader to understand who is the speaker.
3. Length of Chapters
Chapters are too short. To increase the number of readers and votes, you need to increase the number of words in every chapter. At least 1500 words to begin with is good enough.
Thanks for asking me to read. I hope I helped. And do check out my work!
Love,
Leena.