Bye

wow haven't been on here since 2017 lol welp im back

Things are now getting good for me again now and it's great! I want things to stay this way and I'm truly finally happy for the first time in forever! and I have my shit together for once and not to mention that my grades are good and my family is off my back! All of this is great don't get me wrong but I'm just not motivated to continue writing books and I feel so empty and sad BUT I am trying to write something every day it just might get me a while to start posting every day again but I'm getting there it won't be long till I start posting every day again I promise.

U know what fuck life fuck friends fuck parents fuck earth fuck everything and everyone just UGGHHHHHH!!! FUCK!!!!!!

I'm trying to sleep but every time lay down I start coughing....well since I'm awake ill write some more I guess.

Sorry that I only updated one but I can barely see what I'm typing because I'm crying so hard but ill post more later.

I'm gonna try to update all of my stories tonight! Sorry I've been inactive lately...

Well fuck I've been grounded for what seems like a life time (more like two weeks to be exact and I've been grounded for 3 years before so that was nothing) sorry I haven't posted anything ill try to update everything as soon as I can I promise.

Please talk to me. You are not alone.

UGH!!!! I hate playing the waiting game!

Why don't people understand that I'm trying to do my best I'm trying to be perfect I'm trying to live up to everyone's standards and be who they want me to be but I'm being pulled in a million different directions and it's hard and right now I'm just trying to get through each day in one piece and im just sitting here waiting for something to happen but I don't exactly know what I'm waiting for any more and yeah from time to time things get hella hard so yeah I'm gonna relapse but you have no idea what my life is like and I get enough shit for it already that I don't my best friend against me also because that what it feels like right now I'm losing everyone I love and I hate it, it fucking sucks and I'm sorry but I don't know how to make everyone stay so yeah I'm sorry.  You know what it's my body I get to do what ever the fuck I want to it so everyone needs to stop ok because you guys don't understand that when someone tells me to stop it makes me what to do what ever they are making me stop doing and there is one thing that I'm addicted to (self harm) and no matter how hard I try I always go back to it and I can't help it and I'm so fucking sorry that I even exist and that just was even born because let's be honest I didn't want to be and if I could take it all back I would but I can't and I'm sorry make you care and worry and keep you awake at night but you know what I'm tired of fake friends so if your gonna stay then stay but if your gonna leave then just fucking leave already and get it over and done with because I just can't stand to get hurt again so leave if your gonna leave!