I can't describe this feeling. I think it's called the after affects. And it gets you thinking, starting to think about what if. That's the biggest question you could ever ask yourself. What if....... And I started to think of pain. What if my Father died. My moms eyes would go grey and dull, she would be awake, but unresponsive. Her smile would grow weak and pained, nothing would get her back, nothing would. What would happen to me? I would be lost. Lost in this sea of tears where I don't have a father, no one could get me back to the way I was, I would never be that way. Everyday I would feel that he was gone, feel him not there to teach me how to play guitar, not there to make me laugh when I'm sad. He told me I was the best thing he ever did. I couldn't live with his death, I couldn't, I too would be awake, but unresponsive. What if, when I grow up, and my lover dies? That would be a pain no one should ever feel. It would be like, giving someone your heart and then have it die with them. Not having them there... Your life wouldn't be complete, no one could fix it, it would be unfixable. I would slowly rot my self of everything, never getting her off my mind. Nothing would help that pain. No one could ever replace the losses of who you lose. Especially the lose of your own child. The grief there would be...... No one, no therapy, no time could ever fix that. I guess... I just started thinking, and a lot of people know that me thinking isn't the best thing ever. Just, spend more time with the ones you love. Spend each moment with them and make it the best one there is. Because when there gone, you don't want to remember the bad things that had happened, you want to remember the best things. Make your life the best one you could imagine, because there's not going to be another one. Sadly, life isn't one of our books, it's there. You get one life in this time, the key to it, is to make it the best one.
