@lilyramjohn I know it's not an easy thing, like, at all (and I'm sorry I'm not good with words that much), but find what makes you happy and what you enjoy doing, even the smallest/simplest of things, and do it. Do and find things where you can find comfort and happiness within, and step by step you'll become a happier and a happier version of yourself. It may take time, and it also may be hard, but have hope and never give up! Talk to someone if you want. I'm here if you ever wanna talk ^~^
I know you'll be a much happier version of yourself and you won't have to fake a smile or force a laugh someday; and always remember that no matter how long something may take, it's never forever