Hello lil~~I like what you're doing with "Sun Kissed." You have a good narrative voice, character development and eye for detail. I feel what your story needs to get even more readers returning to it is some good old fashioned hightened sexxual tension brewing beneath the surface.
Let's not forget your readers are 90% female age between 14-44, and hormonally curious--just like you, right? They use fiction as a secret outlet for their passions and fantasies--so let's not disappoint them. Give them what they're looking for, chapter after chapter.
As we girls know, the anticipation of sexx and romance is almost as powerful a getting it--correct?. So always tease your teen and YA readers into the next chapter for more. What your story seems to lacks is the inner feelings (and pulsing desires) of your characters, expressed to the reader more explicitly (but not necessarily overly graphically).
I'm sending you a short story of mine--just 4 parts, to demonstrate this. Trust me it's helped a lot of budding writers get more reads and votes on Wattpad.
Now you should know (as a silly warning) this story is mature in places. In fact, Part 4 was given a "R-Private" rating (woo woo!) and is intended by WP just for followers--yeah, right.
But pay no mind to that, I'm sending you the last naughty link as a random act of kindness--and tutorial for you :)
(Best to read this last section while home alone! You'll see why.)
Just let me know what you thought of the story.
https://www.wattpad.com/52450827-a-walk-in-the-countryside-part-4
https://www.wattpad.com/story/16999941-a-walk-in-the-countryside
Feel free to message me anytime for more help or encouragement.
~~Califia
