i have no where to vent so i’m doing it here lolol so i’m like the therapist friend. i always have been. i tried to get out of it and one of my closest friends started getting mad at me. she would say things like “do you just not like me anymore?” or “did i do something to upset you?” just because i tried to get myself out of situations where i was risking my own mental health. we’ve drifted a little since then, but like i said we were really close so my mom started to notice. she asked my SISTER to text her and start taking to her to make sure she was ok. then i guess my mom, friend, and sister all came to the conclusion i was a bad person. every single day i was yelled at. every day. they called me mean, selfish, and a bad friend. i have tried my whole life to be there for everyone but it’s so difficult to listen to people trauma dump on you every single day but they don’t care about what’s going on with you. i finally had enough of it so i texted her and apologized. i told her all about how bad my mental health has been and some other things that i wish i didn’t share. she acted really understanding in the moment, but a few days later she had something to say. she basically said “i’m exhausted. i feel like i’m always having to reassure my friends that they’re fine. no one cares about my problems”. i have spent YEARS bottling up my emotions so she would feel comfortable letting out hers and right after i let mine go that’s what she has to say. i can’t talk to anyone. ever. i feel different around her now. someone i used to look at as a source of comfort is now a source of anxiety. i’ve never felt so alone.
anyways ignore this lol remember to drink water and stay safe <3
