⚖️ No comment without my clients present. Unfortunately, my clients are Stray Kids, so proceedings have been delayed indefinitely, but anygays-

Your Honor, I present to you 🫴✨😏

🐺Bang Chan; available 25/8, accused of being too responsible, adopting everyone, and committing first-degree dad jokes,

 😼 Lee Know; emotionally attached to cats; humans are under review, accused of causing mass distraction and destruction with his blonde hair, glasses and deadly smirk,

🐷🐰Changbin; your honor, these muscles are clearly intimidating the witness, under investigation for aggravated protein powder and aegyo robbery, 

🥟 Hyunjin; guilty of making every ordinary object look expensive, victim of hair loss, also conspiring with Christopher (don't you dare ask me who that is), 

🐿️ Han; speaks faster than my brain files objections, accused of emotional sabotage through devastating lyrics and random genius, 

🌞🐥Felix; weaponized freckles and a voice that confused the entire jury, guilty of stealing hearts, 

🐶 Seungmin; cross-examining, annoying and judging everyone for fun since birth, causing emotional damage with a smile; and 

🦊 I.N; youngest by law, oldest when judging everyone's life choices, accused of pretending to be innocent, but hiding his deadly maknae powers. 

.............oh and also for making TASY taller than Dwaekki :p

⚖️ Court notice: The following allegations are fictional and for entertainment purposes only. The defendants are innocent of all crimes except stealing hearts, serving vocals, and causing emotional damage. 
.........................................................................................
(This is fictional fan-made content created for humor and entertainment. None of the statements should be interpreted as real accusations, claims, or factual information about the individuals mentioned. Why you so seriouseu?)