littlebell1992

Sitting at a very empty airport waiting to get picked up for the last 1hr 
          	I rang when i landed to say i need picking up an hour later i ring tk find out who is getting me and they forgot fml i hate been invisible

littlebell1992

Finally managed to get my niece and nephew to sleep after the final resort of going for a drive. Was going to work on some stories tonight but I'm shattered I'm crook as a dog with the flu had work all day then spent 3.5 hrs trying to get a 4 year old and a 11mnth old to sleep going to try get some sleep before the children of the corn re awaken

littlebell1992

This was my first Christmas without my grandad and it had destroyed me 
          Cancer took away his life at the start of the month i hated seeing him so sick, i hated sitting there watching him doe and i could do nothing but more of all i hated bot seeing you today in you spot at the table and saying grace even though none of us are religious 
          
          I missed Christmas last year because of work i would do anything to take that back because i miss you so much it hurt 
          Hold tight to your loved ones every day mad make sure they know how much you love them because you never no what could happen

littlebell1992

Got the screws taking out of my tibia today thinking it would be easy and not hurt, i have a high pain tolerance due to ongoing let issues but I'm currently in agony my leg feels like it is on fire and the area is like a constant stabbing  and my head is floating from the anthestic (knock out stuff) and copious amounts of pain relief l
          
          So thats what i have been up to what have you mob been up to

littlebell1992

i dont know how much longer i can do this keep a "smile" on my face. 
          
          what do you do when you have always been there for someone for the last 10 years, leaving work early, taking days of work to take you to the hospital, letting my school work slip to help you, spending my last bit of money to make sure your smiling and yet the moment i need you, your to busy with you stupid flipping boy friend who has made you cry on several occasions, i have had many sleepless nights making sure your ok.
          
           you dont even seem to care enough to notice my smile is fake my laugh is fake, my eyes are dead
          
          you said last weekend we could have a girls weekend, this made me smile a little then two dayes later you told me your boufriend would be there friday and sunday. so much for a girls weekend right. we cant even go to the shops without you having to do crap for your boyfriend 
          you know how stressed my family make me, you dont seem to care how hard it is for me to be so far away so often for work, you still call me crying, yet the moment i text you asking if we can talk you either ignor me or say your busy. i have stayed by your side when everyone else has used and left you- now i think your doing the same to me and you dont seem to care
          i want my best friend back, i want someone to talk to but i guess you dont give a crap because you now have a boy friend, im sick of fighting for a 10 year friendship that you dont seem to care about
          i know you wont see this but even if you did you wouldnt know it was me bacause according to you i am happy becuase you dont care to dig that little deeper. i can tell my a text when you need me yet you cant even see it when im in front of you.
          
          i hate how much i let this bother me and how i cant say anything to you in fear i will lose my best friend completly but at the moment i wonder if that is a bad thing