Honestly yk sometimes, things get soo out of control, that it gets to the point you just wanna leave all the hard works you've done so far, out of tiredness. It's almost like a never ending chasing for peace, yet it seems like out of reach. When you it feels like you've got hold of it, it disappears like a candle of flames.
Then you ask again, is this the right path, no. Is this the right life? No. Is this life even deserved? Someone could probably deserve more, someone that doesn't give up. But oh well. Honestly I understand life can be hard but lord, not every second, every minute, everyday, every week, every month, every year. It starts to get tiring at some point.
Not only that, sometimes it's like you stop and observe everyone around, it's like everyone going in never ending circle, do I wanna do the same? Do I wanna be on the same steps? No matter how much is tried, is so hard to have the same thoughts as others, it's quite detaching at some point. It's like you're way too conscious about the way, each surrouding works, whereas you fit in none of the system, none of the categories, none. Then you end up asking, what are you even? What do you want even? What is it?
Peace? That doesn't exist atp come on, that's just gaslighting no matter how much is perceived, clearly, that's far out of oceans, what a life. Isn't it interesting.
Oh well, idk man, I thought to share some thoughts, cause it's feels too repetitive, but in a detaching way at some point. Is what is. Oh well.
