ᵗʳᵃᵍⁱᶜ 𝖆𝖋𝖋𝖆𝖎𝖗

/  mhm mhm  !!

@livingdeaths- / ooo

@livingdeaths- * QUEEN PLEASE

I  TRIED  TO  BE  GOOD,  @crinkledeyes :
            
            no,   no..   {  moving  without  thought  comes  in  the  way  mara  only  allows  for  klaus,   one  hand  pressing  against  their  back  like  she  can  coax  the  defeat  away  with  a  simple  touch.   }    sufletul  mea,   listen  to  me.   what  do  you  think  i  am ?    i'm  more  afraid  of  ghosts  now  more  than  i  ever  was  as  a  kid.     {  it's  a  pitiful  confession,   one  she  wouldn't  give  up  to  anyone  if  she  was  ever  given  a  choice.   the  humiliation  is  far  from  in  klaus'  head,   a  crypt  that  screams  for  death  to  come  home  forever  living  right  next  to  her  own  beating  chest.   she  never  should  have  done  this  to  him,   but  if  she  has  nothing  else  to  offer,   she  can  give  them  this.   mara  huddles  as  close  as  she  can  out  of  this  wild  hope  that  it  offers  an  alternative  better  than  his  past,   eyes  wide  and  teary  as  she  keeps  her  eyes  on  them.  }    that  doesn't  mean  your  life  is  over.   you  aren't  doin'  this  alone  anymore.   

i’m  sorry.  (  their  voice  is  uncharacteristically  squeaky,  head  held  in  their  hands  with  a  sad  sigh.  )  it’s  not  your  fault.  i’m  just-  i’m  bitter,  and  everything-  (  he  inhales,  shaking  their  head.  )  i  don’t  want  this.  and  now  that  it’s  all  over—  i  can’t  get  rid  of  it.  i  don’t  even  have  a  use  for  it,  and  i’m  so  fucking  scared.  (  it  makes  him  laugh,  wiping  their  face.  )  i’m  a  grown  man.  i’m  a  grown  man,  and  i’m  afraid  of  ghosts.  can  you  believe  it?  

I  TRIED  TO  BE  GOOD,  @crinkledeyes ;
            
            no—   {  every  single  word.    every  single  word  feels  impossible  to  force  out,   each  one  a  reminder  of  what  she  should've  done.    she  could've  waited.   she  should've  waited.  }    your  powers,   draga.   immortality.   's  not  a  given,   and  if  we  didn't  put  it  in ,,   {  nothing  would  have  helped.   she  would've  died,   and  there's  no  way  for  mara  to  go  back  now.   no  way  to  change  it.   no  way  to  apologize.   how  is  she  supposed  to  come  back  from  this ?  }     no,   i—  we—   we  all  still  have  it.   the  marigold  was  reintroduced  in  your  system.    ( .. )    'm  sorry.   if  i  had  waited,   it  would've  been  fine.

I  TRIED  TO  BE  GOOD,  @crinkledeyes :
            
            {  against  herself  mara  relaxes  slightly  at  klaus'  touch,   sighing  out  through  her  nose  in  a  hopelessly  resigned  way.    she  doesn't  want  klaus  to  feel  responsible  for  anyone's  safety.    she  doesn't  want  to  even  be  here,   but. . . }     i'm  doin'  this  for  you.    {  she  says,   tone  only  slightly  less  bitter.   }    i  wouldn't  wanna  confuse  him.   'm  here  for  you,  and  if  he  starts  in  again,   i'll  make  sure  he  knows  you're  the  only  reason  he's  still  breathin'.

not  expecting  you  to,  sweets.  not  even  askin’  you  to  be  civil.  just  need  to  hear  him,  okay?  (  he  squeezes  mara’s  shoulder,  smiling  slightly.  )  i  won’t  let  him  be  around  anyone  alone.  not  even  diego  or  lila,  as  smart  as  those  two  are.  

I  TRIED  TO  BE  GOOD,  @crinkledeyes :
            
            killin'  him  is  too  nice.   {  she's  keeping  her  voice  as  calm  as  she  can  as  she  folds  her  arms  over  her  chest,   scowling  like  it's  going  to  get  them  away  from  here.   }   he  killed  my  sister.   he  killed  you.   needless  t'  say  that  i  won't  be  gettin'  him  a  christmas  gift  and  singing  kumbaya.    ( .. )    i  don't  want  her  around  him.

I  TRIED  TO  BE  GOOD,  @crinkledeyes :
            
            i  know  i  can.   {  and  she  does.   her  confidence  in  klaus,   the  belief  she's  maintained  through  it  all,   hasn't  wavered  even  through  the  worst  of  times.   even  now  she's  soft,   lips  finally  finding  a  smile  as  she  extends  her  hand  out  for  klaus  to  take.  }    and  i  do.    i  trust  you  more  than  anyone  else  in the  world,   'nd  i  don't  regret  it.    ( .. )    you  think  you  can  promise  me  one  more  thing ?

i  can  be  responsible  for  that.  (  he  hums  with  a  nod,  crossing  their  arms.  )  i’ve  been  responsible  for  it,  sweetheart.  i  don’t  like  lyin’.  not  like  i’m  any  good  at  it,  anyways.  i  promise  you  can  trust  me,  okay?  

I  TRIED  TO  BE  GOOD,  @crinkledeyes :
            
            i  do  wanna  trust  you.    's  why  i'm  askin'.    {  mara  doesn't  bother  with  the  idea  that  klaus  is  lying,  not  really.    she's  never  lied  to  her  before,   and  with  how  bad  the  aftermaths  have  been,   she  doubts  they'd  start  now.  }    you  said  sobriety  is  about  accountability,   right ?    bein'  responsible  for  somethin'?    ( .. )    you're  responsible  for  me  trusting  you.   that's  the  deal.

I  TRIED  TO  BE  GOOD,  @crinkledeyes :
            
            old  habits  die  screaming,   persona  mea.    think  it's in  his  genetic  lining  t'  be  a  piece  of  shit.    {  with  a  soft  sigh  mara  glances  over,   lips  pursed  to  the  side  like  she  can  force  this  place  into  something  different  with  one  look.   }     it  was  never  because  of  you.   or  your  siblings.   he's  just ,,  the  smallest  man  in  the  world.   

nah.  you’re  right.  (  he wrinkles  his  nose,  hand  still  shoved  in  their  pocket.  she  fumbles  with  the  gem  on  their  ring  finger,  stomach  churning  at  the  sight  of  the  academy  after  all  these  years.  a  boarding  school  for  trouble  boys,  now.  )  it’s  been  abandoned.  guess  he  isn’t  a  good  father  in  any  universe,  huh.

I  TRIED  TO  BE  GOOD,  @crinkledeyes :
            
            hell  has  reportedly  stayed  the  same  since  three  thousand  years  ago.    ain't  there  a  correlation  between  the  two ?    {  despite  the  obvious  joke  mara  is  still  doting  as  ever  as  she  takes  her  husband's  hand,   squeezing  it  once  in  the  space  between  them.  }     sorry.   too  soon ?

I  TRIED  TO  BE  GOOD,  @tamegentles :
            
            i've  told  myself  that  for  years.     {  her  voice  is  softer  than  she  wishes  it  would  be  as  she  glances  down  at  the  journal,   toying  with  the  corners  of  the  pages  with  a  small  frown.  }    for  the  most  part,   it's  true.    but  sometimes. . . y'know,   you  can only  write  about  someone  who  fucked  you  over  so  many  times.   ain't  like  it'll  ever  be  read.    

you’re  just  writin’  down  how  you  feel.  if  anything,  it’ll  help  when  things  get  better.  (  she  tilts  her  head,  fiddling  with  the  ends  of  her  curls.  )  you  look  back  ‘n  realize  that  things  change.  that  they  get  better.  you’re  never  stuck  where  you  are.  

I  TRIED  TO  BE  GOOD,  @tamegentles :
            
            'nd  if  it  doesn't?    {  mara's  distaste  for  her  own  coping  mechanisms  (or  lack  thereof)   is  clear  in  the  way  she  questions  the  nature  of  this,   disbelief  saved  moreso  for  herself  than  kris'  claim.   }    i  feel  like  i'm  playin'  pretend.    writing  letters  addressed  to  the  fire,    like  spitballin'  will  make  everything  better.

I  TRIED  TO  BE  GOOD,  @tamegentles :
            
            tends  t'  happen  like  that.   {  with  a  grim  hum  mara  leans  her  elbows  on  her  knees,   chin  in  hand  as  she  looks  over.   }   all  the  time.   forever.   's  awful,  if  you  ask  me.     ( .. )    anythin'  you  wanna  talk  about ??  

i  just  can’t  stop…  thinking.  (  she  shakes  her  head,  sitting  next  to  mara  with  a  sigh.  )  i  miss  when  i  didn’t  know  much.  it  was  easier  then.  now,  it’s  like  i  can’  stop.  it’s  confusin’.

I  TRIED  TO  BE  GOOD,  @tamegentles :
            
            neither  can  i.    {  the  half-bitter,   half-sorrowful  remark  of  understanding  comes  with  a  knowing  frown,   legs  half  tugged  beneath  her  on  the  counter  as  mara  catches  the  younger's  eye.  }   's  been  too  hectic  lately.    couldn't  make  my  brain  turn  off  if  i  tried,   y'know ?    ( .. )    you're  welcome  t'  come  sit  with  me.

I  TRIED  TO  BE  GOOD,  @tamegentles :
            
            can't  walk  alone,   can't  drive  alone.   can't  be  too  assertive,   can't  be  too  soft.   can't  choose  between  kids  or  your  career  but  you  need  to  be  a  maternal  businesswoman.   palatable  but  not  to  the  point  where  every  man  likes  you.     {  with  a  bitter  tone  and  a  sharp  huff  mara  leans  against  the  cabinets,   arms  folded  over  her  chest  casually.   she's  used  to  this,   of  course.   that  doesn't  make  it  better.   }    being  a  woman  means  entering  a  world  where  'welcome to  hell'   is  a  sign  painted  neon.    too  much,   not  enough.    we  do  everything  to  ourselves  and  we're  doing  it  wrong.    ( .. )    what  prompted  this,   pisica?

sometimes,  i  don’t  like  bein’ a  girl.  (  she  doesn’t  mean  it.  she’s  angry,  of  course-  her  eyebrows  furrow,  eyes  flickering  from  mara’s  face  to  her  hands.  )  i  feel  like  i’m  always  bein’  picked  apart.  like  i’m  just  someone  for  show.  can’t  even  walk  alone.  

I  TRIED  TO  BE  GOOD,  @tamegentles :
            
            {  the  scoff  mara  lets  out  is  an  unintentional  reaction.   she  knows  what  kris  means  more  than  anyone  in  the  world,    her  own  twenty-one  years  keeping  her  the  face  of  targeting  for  the  last  eight  decades.  }    i  understand,   miere,   but  it's  about  the  same  regardless  of  how  old  you  look.    if  you're  a  woman,    they're  gonna  think  they  can  push  you  'round.     ( .. )     and  if  people  ask  why  you're  not  in  school,   give  'em  a  sob  story. 

I  TRIED  TO  BE  GOOD,  @tamegentles :
            
            no  one  can  act  all  the  time.    {  a  truth  she  knows  all  too  well.   she's  still  adjusting  to  it  herself,   when  she  wakes  up  because  her  nightmares  threatened  her  body  with  tears  she's  afraid  to  splash  back  on  klaus.   there  is  no  such  thing  as  permanency.   not  even  for  a  show  stopping  performance.  }    i  remember.   when  i  died,   it  was  just  a  land  of  ghosts  with  a  countryside  backdrop.   everything  feels..  weird.   fake.   like  you  fell  into  a  different  universe  and  everyone  can  tell.   

i  try  not  to  think  about  if  it  does  or  not.  (  key  word;  try.  it  doesn’t  work,  of  course.  it’ll  always  hurt.  )  death  is  weird.  when  i  think  about  the  afterlife,  it’s  like  a  bad  nightmare.  like  i  fell  asleep  and  couldn’t  wake  up-  those  dreams  where  you’re  fallin’,  you  know?

I  TRIED  TO  BE  GOOD,  @tamegentles :
            
            {  is  it  ever  over?    the  age  old  question  has  sat  quietly  with  mara  for  decades  now,    cradled  in  her  chest  like  warmth  in  a  hearth.    she  knows  you  don't  forget  these  things,   no  matter  the  depths  of  how  over  they  are.  }    's  a  nice  bow  to  tie  it  off.    {  she  comments,   voice  soft  with  a  quiet  ache.   }    funny  how  that  works.   anythin'  that  actually  cuts  deep  can  be  over  'nd  done  in  no  time.    ( .. )    it's  okay  if  it  still  hurts,   miere.