Tricera tops (me)

i hate urang utans

Hey lizzy 

women are like gods, they allow submissive slu- i mean men to feel happy and loved, but if you piss them off not even a tank can stop them

if you ever feel like youre worse than me, continue, i have a date tomorrow you lonely single idiot

i’m better at dutch than you 

i heard about the KKK yesterday. they're a very racist restaurant. please guys, dont go and support the krispy kooked kangaroos

when life gives you lemons.... throw them away that's the fucking nastiest fruit i ever seen

love it when people find me funny asf in text messages but as soon as i start speakin they jus dont laugh at anything i try

ever looked in the mirror thinking "damn im so fuckin sexy" and then you see a small dot on your face thats out of place and you immediately regret yo fuckin existance

bro i dont understand why people wear glasses. just open your fucking eyes bro, it's not that hard. stop tryna be cool, you can see just as good as anyone else