I've always been someone who's been anxious to do things risky things or even something remotely outside my comfort zone. It's always been a trait of my personality and I've learnt to live with it. But after being so close to death. I realised I don't want to just be like everyone else was. I want people to be positively affected with something I've done to benefit the world. So I thought back to the beginning of my depression and how I stopped doing the things I loved most because I was so numb I physically couldn't get out of bed to do these things. One of them was horse riding And volunteering At my local barn. The people I worked with were my family and one day I just left them. At the time I had no idea it would affect them as much as I have just realised it affected me. So last Saturday i went back to the barn and just felt so loved. My instructor cried my friends that I hadn't seen in years were so happy and it made me react the same. I was so scared of being rejected and abandoned like I had done to them. I guess what I'm trying to say is being comfortable is good. But doing things that are a little scary could actually improve yours and others mental health. Just kind of think about that next time you're offered an opportunity or want to do something different. It may take a while for you to build the courage to do that. It took me years! And that is O K A Y Just don't give up on your life and your self esteem/confidence! If anyone wants to rant or needs to talk to someone, message me on here or my IG is - okayyy.aesthetics
