i used to think ocd was just about being super clean or organized. like yk guys the way people always talk about it. but welp turns out its not that at all and perhaps i should’ve read more about it years ago and now that i actually got diagnosed, idk like it honestly feels so weird?
like part of me is like “ohh ok, this makes so much sense now, i get it now” like all the spiraling, the routines, the little things i felt like i had to do just to feel better in a way or things that i thought i had to do because what if something bad happens to me, my family, friends, etc if if don’t do it? like honestly guys it’s a relief to know there was a reason for it lol
but also another part of me feels weird looking back. like realizing the thoughts or behaviors weren’t like random or “me being too much or weird” but actual symptoms, idk like it’s just a lot to sit with
lmaooo sorry for the rant i just had to let it out somewhere and maybe it will also help someone out there in a way idkkkk