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I'm so dissatisfied with the weight of an empty life. Back to zero, here we go again. 

lately, i keep forgetting that i should be trying my best to build my future based on myself because i’ve been planning it with a guy for so long. i’ve been enquiring about overseas student exchanges without even thinking about it and it’s like??? but i’m still adamant that my life’s going to be with this guy, there’s no chance it will be as great as it can possibly without him. and it’s not like an “omg i’m not going to be able to survive without him” like i’ll be miserable for so long without him but i have enough confidence in myself to believe that my future will be bright regardless. and i know i’m just waffling on, but long story short i’ve found my soulmate and my future is going to be A+.

Is there an app or website that converts things you've written into all caps for you because I'm very sick of having to go back and change every single word manually. This is it. Proof of my lazy. all my lazy

Pregnant women are treated like goddesses, but as soon as a man is pregnant, it's all "You're a freak-show," and "Take that pillow out from under your shirt, Craig," "You're an embarrassment to the family."
          
          Why do I write? Because I want to sometimeS:
          

"There are many references to suicide and violence, and scenes involving girls yelling profanities while being restraint from the orderly in the institution and struggling to be released." Did you mean MY SCHOOL

god please send me a hot boy who ain't gonna mess shit up in my heart or brain but is also down with my lazy lifestyle and blesses my ego by telling me my ass looks good amen

I feel like at the moment I've just emotionally shat myself and completely nothing is in my control. I really wanna stab myself in the leg or gut or anywhere but my neck area. That's the only good thing atm. God went right w/ my collarbone at least

I want to write a story that will make people feel things really strongly like a massive punch in the gut of happiness or sadness or just a plain punch in the gut

im sick of being sick lol

dont feel very happy and there isn't anything I can think of to make me happy and I've been like this for a while. Holidays are the time where my head just throbs and I actually have time to think about things and panick and stress. and then fights with parents and doctors and being sick. I really hate holidays. I just want to vent and at least I can do that here.  bleh. ......... deflated balloon atm tbh