I can't understand how all along I have seen all these other idiots and how I have become blind to love. I was afraid to be inlove with him because I believe he would hurt me. he isn't the same as the others. his words genuine and true. until lately, I never noticed how beautiful he was. I always thought he deserved better, that I was only going to hurt him, because I couldn't return the love he gave to me. sometimes it's very hard to tell he loves me, for some reason under the sun, its hard for me too. I'm still waiting for him to give up on me. for some reason he hasn't. if he new everything, I don't kno if he'd leave me. I want to be a better person. growing up theses last few years I have always been with idiots. he has only been true to me and I've been the idiot... why the hell one someone actually loves me, do I have to be the idiot? is it because I'm scared for it to be real? I know I'm scared of committing to him. I'm scared that he isn't going to be what I want physically someday. I know some of our views are different. he is different. he has always been different... I hope someday I will pick the love I think I deserve and hopefully someday I will think I deserve his. but I'm working on that part. I love you baby boy
