looking-for-hope

Hey, sorry I haven't been on. I've been going through some real rough splotches. I'm online again and hear to listen.

It hurts so much. Tell me how to stop the pain. Someone tell me! Tell me how you can live! My chest hurts so much. I can't breathe.

Rolling Girl
          
          ( everything goes to rightful owner)
          
          A rolling girl is always far away
          In her dream world she longs to stay
          So much noise buzzing round her head
          All the worries never end
          All the worries never end.
          
          "No problem" are so easily said
          But now, is there any meaning left?
          She fails once more; fails once more
          After search for the odd one out in the crowd
          She starts spinning again...
          
          Now One more time; one more time
          "I think I will keep rolling on today too"
          And so she says so she says....
          Making sure that each of her words are sincere
          Are you okay?
          No, I'm in a daze
          Trying to escape, but I just don't see the point
          Maybe I should just stop....
          Breathing.
          
          A rolling girl feels she had reached the end
          The colours blend, and can't be felt
          All these voices are fighting to be heard
          They're all merging into one
          They're all merging into one.
          
          "No problem" are so easily said
          But now, those words have no meaning left
          And how will I stay on the right path
          Even the hills are tempting me to stray from what's right
          Make mistakes I'll regret 
          
          Now One more time; one more time
          "Somehow I'll find a way to keep rolling"
          And so she says so she says....
          Making sure her silent words are sincere
          Are you alright?
          Just give me some time
          And I will do something about all of this soon
          You'll see, when I stop...
          breathing
          
          One more time; one more time
          "I think I will keep rolling on today too"
          And so she says, so she says...
          Making sure every word is said with a smile
          Are you okay?
          Yes, it's okay....
          You must be sick of all this, so let's go
          And I will stop myself from 
          breathing.

Hi

I was a fool to believe I could be loved. I was a fool to believe I was loved.

Who would even care? You would continue on living your life without me there. It isn't like I am important either

Can't scream, my voice is trapped in my throat. Can't cry, my heart was hardened, remember? Can't yell, or get angry, because I need to be mature. I just have to try to breathe with a demon on my lung and a lump in my throat.

They thought they knew her. They thought they understood her, they where far from it.

Screams, erupt her empty head. Blood flows from her wrists. They said she would find hope. Why is she lying on the ground, bloody hands griping to her hair then? Why is tears streaming down her face? Why is she screaming, but no sound escapes her lips? Why does she have cuts all over her body then?