louehyouidioh28

hey guys, i’ve been struggling lately and i feel the need to vent so if this is triggering to anyone then don’t read it and you don’t need to reply i just wanna express myself. 
          
          i started my a levels this year and like halfway through the year i broke up w my boyfriend cus he was very manipulative and he had a lot of small things he would do when he got mad that would make me feel unsafe and then one time he just lashed out and pushed me so i left him. and since then i just lost all motivation to study, socialize and things have been going downhill. it’s like i know i’m loved, i have so many amazing friends but i feel so so alone and i feel like i can’t talk to anyone about it. and i kinda feel numb too like i’m so emotionally drained and idk what to do about it. i barely get out of bed most days and i’ve been smoking cigs a lot too and my eating hasn’t been the best like i’ve been binging a lot and then restricting the next day and it feels like torture idk what to do. i wanna see a psychiatrist or a therapist cus ik i’m not mentally healthy but my parents don’t believe in that stuff and they’d just brush it off so i literally don’t know what to do. 

Hii hru??

Hey luv. I'm sorry to bother you. I was just wondering maybe you could try reading my books on my account. Hope you'll enjoy it, feel free to share your opinions on comment :)

y’all wish me luck i’m gonna reread flightless bird

TW// EATING DISORDER
          basically i relapsed and started purging around a month ago and it got pretty bad cus i was doing it every day and after every meal or snack and then a couple days ago i forgot to flush the toilet so my sister saw and then she went up to me and my parents and she was like “what’s in the toilet it looks like vomit”. so i just came clean to my parents and told them abt it and at first it was okay they said they’d try to help me and they said if i wanted i could go to therapy and stuff but they don’t understand how hard it is to like accept that i need help or to stop bc it’s like the moment i eat smth all i can think of is throwing up after. anyways the next day i tried not to throw up and i ate half a falafel sandwich for breakfast and that was okay i didn’t throw up after that but then for lunch i had sweet and sour chicken and i tried so hard not to but i ended up throwing up bc i felt so guilty for eating yk. and then my parents were disappointed in me but idk what they were thinking cus it doesn’t just stop overnight. anyways then i had an apple for dinner but istg it literally hurt to keep it down and i felt so uncomfortable so i threw up and when i told my mom she got mad and told my dad and then he got sososo mad and started saying that if i throw up one more time he’s gonna take me to a mental hospital and he took me to the kitchen and forced me to eat and bro he made me eat so much i felt like i was gonna pass out and i was crying the entire time and i felt so fucking guilty after but i don’t wanna be sent away or anything so i kept it down but bro he literally made me eat a banana and two oreos and a kitkat like wtf and then after i laid down on the couch and just cried bc i felt so disgusted w myself 
          
          also sorry i just felt the need to let all of it out if that makes sense?

guys pls go vote for louies
          https://twitter.com/TheAffinityMag/status/1524162552384557056?s=20&t=vCJSk-OABaeJlnVZZXCprA

TW// EATING DISORDER
          
          guys i feel really fuvked up cus i relapsed again and like since last friday i’ve been purging after every single thing i eat and i’m fasting too so i’m not getting enough calories and i know that but i just wanna lose weight and i keep telling myself that once i reach my goal weight i’ll stop but at this rate i don’t think i will cus after i eat anything the only thing on my mind is “go to the bathroom, throw up” and it’s so annoying cus once i think of it i can’t not do it, it’s like i have to
          
          it’s been like a year since i’ve started recovering and it was so bad i had to get hospitalized for a couple days but no one knew i had an ed, it was just cus of the fatigue and dizziness that came along w it so ik it can get bad but honestly i don’t really care as long as i lose weight 
          
          idk why i’m saying all of this cus in all honesty i don’t think i want to stop so like yeah ig i’m just ranting lol

Hey luv, I'm making harry styles fanfiction, hope you'll give it a chonce :)

hi guys so um bad or good news i genuinely cant tell but my mom just told me that she’s planning to take us kids and move back to canada before the next school year. i currently live in a middle east country but i lived in canada for like 5 years when i was a kid. and the thing is she said she’s not gonna tell my dad about this plan and she’s just gonna book the flight for one morning while my dads at work and he’s gonna come back and not find us there. i completely get why she’s taking this decision but it still hurts yk because he’s my father. but it makes sense that she’d wanna move cus truth be told he’s abusive, he’s repeatedly hit me with a belt before and it was so traumatizing and since then i haven’t seen him in the same light. and a couple days ago my parents  got into an argument and he threatened to hit her too which i find so shitty and that’s the main reason why i’m so okay with us moving. 
          
          anyways if you read all of this i love youuu and your support would be really great right now <33

hey guys, so my current situation at home is shit because there’s many problems going on between my parents and it kinda inspired me to write a short thing so i published it on wattpad idk just to share ig
          
          it would mean a lot to me if you read it though and like lmk what you think about my writing
          
          thanks guys ily <33