louisHOMEMADEmash11

Happy 1D day <333

louisHOMEMADEmash11

Hiii, so I’ve been gone for a long time but i’m back now. Idk if I’ll go back to posting on my message board regularly but I definitely will at least a bit more often.
          Anyway… 
          
          Happy Pride Month. I still don’t know if I’m lesbian or bi but i do know I’m queer. (Not much progress made in the sexuality department as I could’ve told you the same thing last pride month) 
          
          If you’ve been following me for a long time you’ll know every time I go back to school after a long break I get really anxious and vent on my message board because i had nowhere else to go. I haven’t completely fixed that but I have realised my main problem which I’ve always labelled as anxiety or something i was anxious about isn’t actually anxiety. So I need to stop treating it that way because i’ll get nowhere. It’s more like a mental block I have. Like as soon as I get over it once it would basically be gone. And I can kind of feel it happening. I think im getting over it. It’s been a long 3 years that I’ve felt like this and i’m so happy it’s almost over. And im so so scared because getting over it means facing my fear which is literally the whole reason i’m like this in the first place. Idk if I’ll actually do it but I think I actually might. 
          If anyone wants me to i can also explain the whole thing I have going on. Idk what to call it but like the thing I used to call anxiety. 
          
          Sometime in May (I don’t know exactly when bc the wattpad website and app tells me two different dates) was my 3 year Wattversary. And with that i just want to say thank you so much for following me and talking to me. Thank you for reading my vents because and being here during literally the worst time in my life. 
          
          And also thank you if you read down this far, i know that was a lot. I can’t wait to get back to being more active on here again <33

louisHOMEMADEmash11

Actually you can just ignore most of that, I don’t think i can do it. I genuinely don’t know what I’m going to do. 
            
            This is usually the part where we listen to fine line, cry and count our deep breaths.
            
            This is about the anxiety thing btw
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louisHOMEMADEmash11

Apparently Liam has a new song but idk how to listen to it…

loubringmehome-

@louisHOMEMADEmash11 haha np
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louisHOMEMADEmash11

@loubringmehome- thank you sooo much. Idk why it was so hard to figure out lmao
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loubringmehome-

@louisHOMEMADEmash11 it's just part of it, the full song has not been released yet
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louisHOMEMADEmash11

I have a maths test tomorrow and I haven’t studied at all (it’s only an end of chapter test but still). So now it’s 11:50pm and I’m finish homework due tomorrow while studying for like 5 minutes. I finished reading powerless and I cried so much omg

louisHOMEMADEmash11

this message may be offensive 
I’m reading Powerless rn (the one by Lauren Robberts, not the hockey one) and it’s so good but Istg if they don’t kiss soon I’m going to kill them. Small spoilers below of my telling you how far I am that they still haven’t kissed. 
          
          I’m on chapter 53, page 433 and they’ve just been interrupted before kissing. If I’m not responding within 24 hours then assume I used all of my strength to kill this book as if it’s alive and then died from the impact and effort. 
          
          I also might be making another announcement later screaming about them finally kissing.

louisHOMEMADEmash11

Well didn’t that take a turn
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