lucasss_tf

I wanna be like this super hot beautiful girl but in a feminine-masc way and I wanna be a super mega bitch, be mean and start fights and only have a few close girl friends who i flirt with occasionally

lucasss_tf

I'm really sad.. I haven't been able to really read that many fanfics in the past year. The ones I've read are not that good anyway and didnt make me feel anything significant. 
          
          Also i feel like wattpad has been super dead lately. All my fav fanfics have not been updated in over a year now.. I feel lost, I feel alone I feel scared... omg omg...
          
          I miss staying up late at night and reading fanfics. It used to be my only light in the dark. School has been absolutely murdering me. Idk how I'm surviving rn.I only get like 4 hours of sleep every night and only eat noodles. I'm always tired. There's nothing I look forward to. I get home and doomscroll tiktok until I have to do my homework and study. 
          
          I have real irl friends now, and I love them very very very much but I kind or miss my lonely days of reading x reader fanfics in class and drawing my F/O.  I miss the little worlds I had inside my head. I feel my joy and whimsy fading away. I wish I could feel that way again. Now I just feel so empty. I feel like I have no personality or spark. Like I've lost my creativity.

lucasss_tf

this message may be offensive 
I was feeling down so I decided to watch young sheldon cuz it's my comfort show and guess what episode was on? The one where his dad died. Now I'm in fucking shambles man. I wish I said goodbye to my dad