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hello, done darling

benanyo tok ghajin segho pun diri ni huduh kohong, cumo gak kade ii yo sero insecure. might be because of lack of self-confidence, didn't got praises by anyone & so on. banyok jah bena segho comey jugok kawe nih tapi gak gitulah. kitonyo seteres, pahnyo dale gamba segho napok pelik gitumo. itulah, nok beruboh kato tapi malah wak kijo. pulok tu dok pehe gapo sekaro dale belajar lagilah. gano ehla tengok ore confident tinggi, segho deki ado. In Shaa Allah, bulehlah kawe.

hello, its been a long time. Idk how to describe my feelings right now but I'm really sure its hard to be described. just feel a little left out among people. neither my friends nor my family. Idk how to say but its just it is. I really hate this feeling, it shows my insecurities. but still, here I am. just could act like a total weirdo in society. I couldn't stand when my friends totally ignored me when I actually was there looking at them. and yet, they doing nothing. I know its overreacted, childish as well. but, thats just how sensitive I am.

hello, its me here. yeah, who else? I want to study but I'm lazy but I need to study but my laziness won't let me be T^T.

tbh, I hate myself in the picture. its freaking ugly T^T. maybe irl as well, but the picture does more. this just make me always avoid taken picture by people. its just,,, T^T. how I admire the people who looks good in the picture, irl as well. I look like a freaky dumb shy girl who act like a weirdo. NO, ITS LITERALLY WEIRD!! T^T..

dear self, you have to remember that your English still sucks T^T. but I love it huhu. maybe its not that perfect, but JUST LET IT SLIDE GURLLL!

hello self, I’m back!!! ofcourse with the better emotion, and mental (Ig???) not really but feel so much finer! for this year, I got a lot of dreams that I wanna achieve. no, I WILL ACHIEVE THEM!! In Shaa Allah, maybe will be better more and more! first of all, I have to focus on studies T^T. I’ve been having too much fun lately so this is the time for suffering (not really but thats how students describe the studies, or maybe just me T^T) okay goodnight pookie <3.

I've been wondering, am I that bad? did I really don't have anything to be proud of? like her? like others? did I really just a useless? I did everything, just because wanna hear "you already did the best as you can.", "its okay to be not okay, no one's perfect.", "I'm here, always. Allah is there as well." no one's ever said that to me, even me myself. I just wanna be understood.

I get it if everyone hates me, I'm hating myself as well. I'm the awful one. what I'm looking for in this world, me myself don't even have answers. Idk. maybe I just wanna love myself. I hurt myself, fr. I'm desperately needed those comfort words so I can live a life. I want to live, but I don't want to as well. I hate to hurt me, but there's no other choice than this.

on my silent days, I miss that one friend who always there for me but now we are no more than strangers. me myself don't even know what's making our friendship cutted off. we used to be really close but now we are nothing, no reasons, no words, it was just a sudden cut off. how I wish I could tell her how much I miss her. how much I miss our times, our laughters and even our joyful conversations together. these feels strange.