𝕯𝖊𝖛𝖎𝖑'𝖘 𝕮𝖍𝖎𝖑𝖉

Good. Wyd?

Wassup?

I used to not believe in spirits. Or that souls don't fully move on. But I think now I do. 
          
          [P.S. This shit kind of depressing, so you y'all don't need to read this shit]
          
          Almost 3 years ago, my dad passed away from a heart attack. I felt, feel, horrible because I was a horrible daughter. I allowed my mom to make me hate him for so long. It had only been about a year and half when I broke free of her brainwashing. But by that time, it was too late. When he died, not only sadness, but guilt and regret flowed through me like a tidal wave. Like a giant tsunami was crushing me. Last night, I saw my dad in my dreams. It felt so real. His day old stubble of a beard scratched my face like it used to. His hug was so warm and tight, that I thought he came back from the dead. He was smiling while I was crying. I couldn't stop apologizing. Like as if "I'm sorry" were the only words I knew. But all he said was, "It's okay. You don't need to hurt yourself anymore. You did nothing wrong."  I've never cried from a dream so much. My pillow was soaked with tears. Even when I woke up, I was sobbing. My dad was my superhero. But I realized it too late.

I'm so fucking sore. I've been working out more and I just did a shit ton of yard work today. I'm HURTING.

People say to ignore the past, to move on. Sometimes, people can't.

why do I feel like a fuck up? Like i can't do anything right? maybe it's just my head getting to me, but it's doing a pretty damn good job.

"I will not die. I'll wait here for you! I feel alive when you're beside me. I will not die! I'll wait here for you! in my time of dying!"
          
          If anyone knows this song, I wanna be friends.

How can people be such asses to people? Like why are people homophobic? I don't understand. What did the LGBTQ+ community ever do to deserve this treatment? How would they feel if they were being treated like mistakes? Like freaks of nature? We are still people, and just because we love the same gender doesn't make us any different. It doesn't mean we are freaks, or mistakes. The mistakes are the peopple that can't see that. And I hate it when they can't get it through their thick ass skulls to see this and just are so disgusted by it that they can't live with the people they believe to be mistakes. It makes me so fucking mad that they don't even realize what they are doing to people. How can they just be so fucking hateful to throw someone out? I'm so fucking mad. I can't believe that the world can't just fucking accept people for who they are, love them, and let them fucking BE. I seriously hate people sometimes.

I hate being a girl sometimes. Like why the fuck did God say "Imma make y'all bleed." But then make most women have regular periods and make me have them like 2-3 time a year. Fr He went "Nah. You ain't gon' be regular. You already ready straight as a circle so imma make you bleed when you least expect it and kill your insides."I literally feel like my stomach is being stabbed over and over again. And it hasn't even been 24 hours since I've had it.
          
          I wanna die.

Thank you for the follow