They say that going on big crazy trips has a tendency to change a person. For a while I've admitted to having problems with my mental health within the last year or so, but never actually acted on it. That tends to reflect in my writing and it doesn't necessarily make me a bad writer, but I do like to be open and honest about myself, because of the effects it has on my writing. After traveling to London I've realized that I have not been taking care of myself mentally, physically, or spiritually. I have little motivation to actually change it, but I remember how good I felt when I used to work out. I want to start again, I have just been lacking motivation and feel so burnt out. Family has not been helpful. I have no idea what I want to do in life, but they constantly push me to get jobs that I don't want. I'm constantly stressed about my financial situation. I don't expect any sort of pity. I just hope that people can understand my mental state and why sometimes I write the way I write, or why sometimes I lack the motivation to get chapters out. This is a monster that only I can face and I just need to start motivating myself to be better and to take care of myself. I hope y'all take care of yourselves too. ~Maddy