what am i to do?

hey guys (if you’re still here) i saw maggie lindemann yesterday (insane show) and it reminded me of my very first mattia fanfic. y/n—us—were supposed to look just like maggie (my pinterest queen) and standing in the crowd i couldn’t believe that i went from writing about her to watching her perform. and this all reminded me of all of you ❤️❤️ 
          
          i’m forever thankful for all of the support. because of you, i found my path and became a writer. a better one (i hope…) and yes, i still write fanfics and currently writing my very first official novel. 
          
          i miss you and if you even remember me, i’m still here! anything anything anything, i will always remain here with you ❤️
          
          PS: I AM STILL IN LOVE WITH MATTIA (he keeps getting hotter. aging like fine wine hmm??) i could rewrite all my fanfics with the knowledge i have now tehe. i’m officially an english speaker and no longer is it my second language :3 

@cbdmqttia haha ily <3

@cbdmqttia aweee you're so nice. I believe I've improved my writing, but it still doesn't satisfy me lol. Surprisingly, I don't use snap, only instagram. @mantecasoldi if you wanna add me :D.

@cbdmqttia Ahh it's okay. It's been a month and yet everything has collapsed in a way. (I'm okay tho) And that reminds me of the days when I used to write fanfics about Mattia (lol).  I unpublished them all because I had a mental breakdown and I never published them again. The books are still in 'my stories' but everything is so confusing. I have been writing, literally about anything, but it's not the same as before. I wish I could complete a book but I can't. I also wish I could somehow come back and write about Mattia, but I also can't. I AM DYING because I love writing and I have so many ideas but I'm blocked. Anyways, I know it's too much to read but I needed to open up. Also, if somehow I get to come back and write, I don't know if it's going to be in this account. I'm not using this anymore. Either way I'll let you know :). Hope you're having a nice week and remember to drink water. I love you.

@cbdmqttia

hi bby, i’ve been doing well, thank you so much for caring. how are you?

@cbdmqttia ahhh don’t say that. it makes me wanna come back to this acc

I MET BILLIE YESTERDAY AHH OMG!!!

i wanna go back to publishing books :)

i don’t know if the followers of this account are still active but i just wanted to say yesterday i had the best kiss i’ve ever had. it felt like a wattpad story…
          
          anyways how are you? if you’re still there…