marais

This is a first attempt at a first chapter.  Please read and leave me some feedback.  I'm really looking to find out if this is worth contuing as a book.  As a bit of background the character who is narrating from her point of view will die during the story (approx 10 years later) but will continue her narration on the events which happen to the other characters after her death.  I've purposely not included any names or places since for the most part this is based on a true story.  I'm not sure I would wan't to identify the people in the story.  I started work on this late last night and have spent time today typing it up so it's quite a rough version.  I really just want to test the waters to see if the writing appeals to anyone and to find out what areas I should be focusing on to improve.  Thanks.

marais

This is a first attempt at a first chapter.  Please read and leave me some feedback.  I'm really looking to find out if this is worth contuing as a book.  As a bit of background the character who is narrating from her point of view will die during the story (approx 10 years later) but will continue her narration on the events which happen to the other characters after her death.  I've purposely not included any names or places since for the most part this is based on a true story.  I'm not sure I would wan't to identify the people in the story.  I started work on this late last night and have spent time today typing it up so it's quite a rough version.  I really just want to test the waters to see if the writing appeals to anyone and to find out what areas I should be focusing on to improve.  Thanks.