mariannegrrrr

 don't feel special enough to celebrate bdays anymore since last 3 years my parents don't feel I am special enough. Not that we had that much money to celebrate it as special especially during this tough times and I understand as a mature person but ultimately I still wish to be that little kid for whose bdays where special not just a day when you wake up to get some meaningless wishes then eat something then spend time on TV then its time for dinner. Then sleep. And like that the bdays gone like a normal day everyear. I wish god was little soft on me I wish he blessed me with abundant luck and fortune. Maybe still maybe I hope for my life to get turned around for THE BEST.
          	Signing out
          	
          	(Pt 2/2)

KRUTHIKA_WRITES

I don’t know what to call you , but. Hi! I initially came here to ask you to read my book. I was having hard time, then I saw your journal. I stopped and read Every single one of them. Honestly, if I say I can relate to you , you wouldn’t believe it. But I do. Every single thing you talked about. I have experienced it. And I became numb to it atp. I just wanted you to know that life is worth living. Even after all the bad years we faced, it still worth living. Your age isn’t a big deal. Pursue your dream babe. Don’t be afraid of uncertainty. Things will be hard for sure, but it’s a lot better than dying with regret. I can tell that you are someone like me, so I know my words won’t do much help. But babe , you matter . You really do. Happy birthday my dear girl. I wish I can tell you in person, but here you go. HAPPY BIRTHDAY in advance.
• Reply

NishaPsons

What would you do if tomorrow was Earth’s last day?
           
          Me? I’d probably panic, make chai, and try to write one last poem before the world burns.
           
          But you know what Siya would do?
           
          She’d walk straight into the chaos with a playlist in her ears, love letters in her pockets, and secrets she never told anyone.
           
          ✨ Find out what happens in my latest book, LAST DAY. It’s messy, it’s real, and it might just break your heart in the best way.
           
          Read it now on Wattpad. Let me know if you would stay, run, or say “I love you” before the end.
           
          Drop a ❤️ if you’re reading, and let’s talk about what you would do on your last day. I’ll be waiting in the comments.
            #LastDay #Wattpad #newstory #emotional #romance #apocalypse
           
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/342894419-last-day

mariannegrrrr

@NishaPsons will surely give a read
• Reply

mariannegrrrr

 don't feel special enough to celebrate bdays anymore since last 3 years my parents don't feel I am special enough. Not that we had that much money to celebrate it as special especially during this tough times and I understand as a mature person but ultimately I still wish to be that little kid for whose bdays where special not just a day when you wake up to get some meaningless wishes then eat something then spend time on TV then its time for dinner. Then sleep. And like that the bdays gone like a normal day everyear. I wish god was little soft on me I wish he blessed me with abundant luck and fortune. Maybe still maybe I hope for my life to get turned around for THE BEST.
          Signing out
          
          (Pt 2/2)

KRUTHIKA_WRITES

I don’t know what to call you , but. Hi! I initially came here to ask you to read my book. I was having hard time, then I saw your journal. I stopped and read Every single one of them. Honestly, if I say I can relate to you , you wouldn’t believe it. But I do. Every single thing you talked about. I have experienced it. And I became numb to it atp. I just wanted you to know that life is worth living. Even after all the bad years we faced, it still worth living. Your age isn’t a big deal. Pursue your dream babe. Don’t be afraid of uncertainty. Things will be hard for sure, but it’s a lot better than dying with regret. I can tell that you are someone like me, so I know my words won’t do much help. But babe , you matter . You really do. Happy birthday my dear girl. I wish I can tell you in person, but here you go. HAPPY BIRTHDAY in advance.
• Reply

mariannegrrrr

I have no idea why i am even kinda Journaling on wattpad. Out of all apps, instead of dump insta account I am trying to sort my emotions here. Maybe because hopefully eventually when the waves settle i can someday look back and thank and even feel sorry or feel proud of my resilience. Idk, today mmm.....I don't feel good its just not the vomiting sensations speaking its not the tiring day speaking but maybe the bday jitters or maybe the lack of excitement or maybe the feeling of burden of bday expections of my parents. I am distorted between wanting to go to a therapist and outcome it would bring. I am afraid to face the reality. Especially when nothings that good. Yes there is some development but not what I wished for. Its like after being stuck in an ocean you finally get to a shore but its a stranded island. Its as good as nothing. I never wanted to go into research. I don't know my future in biochem. I don't see where I am going. I don't know if I will be able to ever turn my life around. Since 16 year old I built my life around wanting to become a doctor and trying to become one. I have no idea or wishes other than that. I still thought about it weeks before but now it seems so far off. Tbh its felt too risky. Something I can't bet about. It took a lot to stabilize even if it was just 1%. Atleast it brought peaceful sleep for my parents even if it kept me wide awake and sometimes sobbing late night. It was relatively peaceful. But now when I think of ahead it is less than nuance. I will be 22 I am in 2nd year of college. Many people say its still early and I try to show its normal but my inner soul cant help to feel sad and painful I try hard to keep my tears in. 
          
          (Pt 1/2)

NishaPsons

@mariannegrrrr <3
• Reply

mariannegrrrr

@NishaPsons hey thanks for reading this huge ass diary entry ✨️ i appreciate it
• Reply

NishaPsons

@mariannegrrrr because we feel less sheilded around the people who barely know us. we can tell our actual problem without getting judged and we don't be afraid to tell because we know we are not going to encounter them in real life so it is safe. trust me I have the same problem just i post it on instagram with a id barely my friends know, lol
• Reply

mariannegrrrr

this message may be offensive 
These days it feels like i am facing my worst nightmares, I am fighting all of my demons lately. I hated changes I hated new I hated variations all I have ever wanted is to make things stay like howcome my own bestf my very own benchmate got distanced from me like howcome I don't recognize myself why there is no spark in my eyes no purpose in my life why and how did this happen why I have became a loner from a cool cheerful funny extrovert person. Why I have become this hollow shell of a person. I had lost everything because of one thing and didn't get fulfilled. Was this a karma ? Maybe, a result of less hardwork ? Maybe due to someother shit? But why with me and when I need some escape when I need some happiness. I don't know why I am even writing my heart out on wattpad and using this as my personal journal but Maybe venting out as anonymously is the only option I have which keeps me going. Still waiting for better days.

Aspire1983

Hello ❤️
          
          How are you?
          
          Hope you are fine...
          
          Do check out my new heartwarming tale 'The Gifted Wife' that translates about obsession for dark skinned bellé if time permits ❤️
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/384141779?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=Aspire1983
          
           
          ...and the other stories too
          
          • The Gandharva's Muse (Mafia Series#1)
          • Seraphim Love (Mafia Series#2)
          • The String of Faith (Mafia Series#3)
          • My Avowal, My Love (Cop Series#1)
          • Nirvasan (Completed)
          • Nirvana (Ongoing)
          • Swaragini (Short Story)
          • Samksh (Short Story)
          
          Lots of love ❤️
          
          
          Take care ❤️

mariannegrrrr

Why sometimes life becomes so difficult that it feels better to end it rather than just being...
          This phase don't seem to end. I can't find the end of tunnel. I can't see the disappointed faces of my parents everyday. My only dream was to make them proud and happy one day, this struggle is never ending. I so badly wanna end this all please god help me out please...I want happiness now

mariannegrrrr

I am losing myself ? My mind ? Is this what depression is ? Maybe, because my days are filled with anxiety and sadness , bad mood and tiredness, no excitement just staring at blank walls whole day...
          Nothing to look forward at 
          Nothing good enough to look past away. 
          Days filled with answering uncomfortable questions to which I have no answer to . They say to  belive that better Days are coming soon, I don't think so I am at my worst and drowning day by day losing all my lifelines. I don't have anything to hold upon. Something is ticking in my mind every single second I never wanted to lose like this 
          Why is this even happening to me. This was not WHat I dreamt of, not what should my life should have been.
          I think I am losing my strength, my courage and myself.

author_jerry

Hey dear I am a new Author here, I hope you are doing well, sorry to interrupt but it would be really great help if you could give chance to my book If your time permits please check out my book , I will be looking forward for your reaction... thank you ❤️
          
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/365914721?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=author_jerry