Emrys

NO ONE SHOULD FEEL THIS WAY, EVER!!! Sadly, some do, I am one of those many. This is not a cry out for help or attention. This is to help people understand or at least be aware of what other people feel. This is to show that you are not always alone, others can be the same as you, with the same problems. I am lucky enough to have two friends who always seem to brighten my day. They both have saved me from self harm and suicide, I wish I could help them as much as they have for me. I thank them from the bottom of my heart.
          
          Please repost  on your profile to show people that it’s okay to feel this way, but don’t believe it. Get help, even if you have to do it yourself. 
          
          Repost to show schools or staff that this has got to end. We need an environment safe for students to learn.
          
          Repost to show that you care about the people who have body dysphoria, people who self harm, are suicidal, and/or have mental illnesses.
          
          Repost for the souls that have been through so much from self harm to suicide, abuse, rape, drugs, mental illnesses, and murder.
          
          Repost to show the world it needs to change.
          (This was originally posted on my Tumblr @marina-1020)

(Continued)
          Nobody cares about you.
Why would they, look at you, I’ve seen homeless with better looks than you.
You’re crying, are you serious?
Did the big man hurt your feelings?
Get over yourself, you mean nothing to no one, and you never will.
Who in their right mind would care about a piece of useless crap like you?
You want to be someone?
People like you aren’t successful, they’re bothersome, YOU are the scum of this Earth.
Aren’t you listening, no one cares about you, YOU SHOULD JUST DIE!!!
Die, die, die, kill, kill, kill.
You don’t deserve what little life you have.
Why are you shaking?
Yeah, that’s right, scratch, scratch, SCRATCH!!!
Cut out all the nasty blood out of your veins and arteries.
You can’t even control us?
/You/ made us.
How pathetic!
Look at you, you are weak, you’re stupid, and you deserve the pain
          All the while I agree with every nasty comment. 
          
          I would never say any of this to anyone else, but I deserve it. I really do, I’m always to busy with my health, I don’t take the time to help others.

(Continued)
          I feel like I’m such an inconvenience to others.
People’s lives would be simpler without me in it.
I shouldn’t be bothering my friends with my problems.
Nobody needs me or wants me I don’t even want myself.
I can’t even fight off the voices that I made up.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Why am I trying to be a good person, I’m going to hell anyways, right?
Where did I go wrong?
My parents don’t even support me, hell /I/ don’t even support me.
I’m a waste of space.
          
          Then the voices decide to open their mouths 

(Continued)
          I’m dreading the ride tomorrow; thoughts are racing through my head. 
What if it’s a feminine day tomorrow? 
Will I have to fake being transgender just to feel comfortable? What if he is transphobic? 
Why do I care I’m protected by the law, right?
What if my parents find out?
Will they care or will take the driver’s side?
Maybe I should make it easier for everyone and just keep all this to myself?
          
No one should ever have to feel like I feel right now.

(Continued)
          The anticipation of having to see the bus driver when I got out of school got so bad I started having an anxiety/panic attack. I suffer from body dysphoria, depression, anxiety, and a lot of other things. I also hear voices from time to time, especially when I am dysphoric or relapse. Through the first three classes I was in pain, not just emotionally but physically. I had a migraine and I was very nauseous, the voices started up. I was shaking and sweating. My vision was fading in and out. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore and I was going to pass out, so I asked to go to the restroom and thankfully the teacher let me. I was sitting on the floor with my head over the toilet, but nothing came out besides dry heaving. I hadn’t noticed my arms were scratched up and the tears falling from my eyes. I couldn’t breathe and I started to freak out. I sat in the restroom waiting for something to happen when the bell rang, signaling the transition to the next class. People walked into the restroom, the noise mixed with the voices and nausea made my situation worse. I was sent home, and I cried my self into a three hour nap. I woke up with my stomach hurting and my migraine barely fading. I felt terrible and I still haven’t faced the driver today. 

(Continued)
          Today I was confident enough to get on a bus on the male line, then proceed to exit the bus when the males were called. As I stood and was making my way to the front, the bus driver continued to say things like, “I called the boys” or “you’re not a boy”. I had been mustering up the courage to do that for about two years and for that to happen, it brought back a lot of process I had made. 

To Schools, Their Staff, Students, and The Rest *TRIGGER WARNING*
          Do not divide students into boys and girls
Do not use femininity as an insult 
Do not make a student uncomfortable when they have the courage to make a statement for themselves when they are divided into different sexes
Do not confront a student if you think they are confused on which side they are on
Do not use masculinity as an insult 
Do not label transgender as other on a question 
Do not use the question boy or girl without an other section
Do not out a student to make a statement 
Do not make jokes about being confused 
Do not assume they are confused 
Do not make the students feel less of themselves 
          

@mortal_blade hey

That moment when your mom gets a Tumblr account and she starts getting followed by porn blogs
          
          
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          BUT WWWHHHHYYYYY

That moment when you haven't communicated with your friends for weeks like:
          HELLO FROM THE INSIDE! I MUST HAVE MESSAGED A THOUSANDS TIMES TO TELL YOU, I'VE FINALLY COME OUT TO MY FAMILY! BUT MY PARENTS STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!