mahmoodidk
hiii please check out my new poem collection if you want to! i worked really hard on it https://www.wattpad.com/story/386052494?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details&wp_uname=mahmoodidk
marssaturnia
marssaturnia
LOVING YOU IS A POISON AND IT DOESN'T FEEL GOOD, IT FEELS LIKE TORTURE ❤️✨
marssaturnia
I really truly need help, no one's replying to me on text and I've even reached out to my therapist but here's what's wrong, if you can read this please reply:
I'm in love with a guy. I have been for 5 years now. When he's out my life I feel good but when he's in it I feel suicidal, but it's because of the extent I love him. Like I don't want him to ever be hurt or anything. I won't go on about how much I love him but here's the deal: when we're in contact, I can't get out of bed, don't eat, don't shower, don't create the art I love and my every thought is consumed by thoughts of him and when's he gonna reply? and everything. I reached out to him on Christmas Eve just to wish him a good Christmas and then he gave me his phone number. He's really sweet when he does reply but he leaves me on read for days at a time. I can't help but text him and he's taking all my energy. What should I do? It's really bad. It's making me suicidal because I just don't want to love him anymore. What does this mean? Why can't I write poetry when we're in contact? Can someone help me please? I wish I could fall in love with someone else who loves me back. ❤️✨
Sapphirus_Infinite
Five years, Mars. Five years of loving someone who has become less of an individual but more of a specter, haunting your thoughts and feeding off your devotion like a parasite. This isn’t love, it’s a disease you have allowed to fester, a grotesque monument to your own refusal to let go. You ask why your hand don’t flow with poetry anymore? It’s because they have hollowed you and you have allowed, no space for creation, only destruction remains. They are a thief, dare one say, a silent vandal of your spirit and you have willingly handed them tools for your destruction. Love when it comes to such level, is a promise of self betrayal and isn’t noble anymore, what you feel isn’t love, it’s rot dressed as passion, the truth remains, the person never held the answers you were begging for, and they never shall. They are not the cure but only the perpetual source, stop romanticising the pain, it doesn’t make you profound, it makes you complicit in your own undoing.
Your poetry isn’t gone, it is awaiting in the shadows, baring it’s very fangs, write with the intensity of the venom that struck you, you don’t need their love, you need yours. The bitter truth is, he will never love you as much as you destroyed yourself to love him.
Best wishes for the future,
Regards,
Sapphirus
dmelvin1
@marssaturnia It was hard. I would sometimes spend whole days analyzing our text chains and every little thing we said and did together, trying understand what I could do to get her to be completely sold on us, and not just half way. I realized I couldn't go on like this, so I told her I loved her too much to not be definitively with her, and that if it wasn't possible we have to go our separate ways. Ultimately it did end. It was still hard, but week after week I thought about her less. Eventually I met someone I didn't have to play games with. Someone I love and whom I feel loved by.
marssaturnia
✨❤️ HAPPY NEW YEAR ❤️✨
callmeamarisss
Hi, I just posted a new chapter of my book, could you please vote it?
https://www.wattpad.com/1503141622?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_published&wp_page=create_on_publish&wp_uname=callmeamarisss
meskeleton_07
@marssaturnia same girl same..
Aechan369
V4V ?
Aechan369
@marssaturnia please you may go first on my book INK AND REFLECTIONS: A HEART THAT SPILLS LOVE ✨❣️
marssaturnia
WHAT I SENT HIM: Yo, just saying good morning and that I hope you've been alright and I hope that we can be really good friends again like we was in the past. I won't ring you today cos I'm worried that I'm calling too much when you're busy, but wanted to say I trust you and you're still the only person I trust with certain spiritual things I wanna talk about. Hope it was okay to send you this text lol, have a wonderful weekend. Mars
WHAT I WANTED TO SAY: I still love you. Everyday is a pain without you and trying to make friends with anyone else is a bore and a chore. Nobody sees my pain or struggles quite like you did, you were fine tuned to my personality and everyone else talks about themselves but you? Oh you ask all the questions nobody thinks to ask me. I miss every little thing about you. Not a day goes by where you're not in my thoughts and Pisces imaginings. I still love you. Not as much as before, but I still love you and I know youre curious if I still have feelings for you- I do. Have a wonderful life and please won't you tell me you love me too? ❤️✨
marssaturnia
@meskeleton_07 I used to but I'd get scared of his replies and block him so I'm concealing it now ❤️✨
purplicity_1114
Tysm for the support! Have a great day ❤️
marssaturnia
anyone awake? it's 4:54am ❤️✨