@martin-lewis
the only thing keeping me here atm- the only thing i have to look forward to is that he promised to take us to the zoo and very easily that is losing its whatever the word that could keep me from doing anything stupid
oh but also at work he texted my phone just so he could see it light up (cuz i have a specific color for his number) and i think that’s so cute.
he’s so cute when he’s sleepy)):
his lil voiceeee
the way he argues with me about going to bed even though he can’t keep his eyes open OUGH *this man.* he’s so cute): the “shuddup!!” when i tell him to sleep idk if it’s because he just wants to spend more time with me (like i do when i argue about it) or if it really is just spite but either way he is Adorable
when he asks me to help name the pokémon he catches <333
does anyone still use this app-?
me just deciding randomly that my characters have had some sort of abuse inflicted upon them
me creating all of these “original” characters :
“i didn’t even give any of them trauma! they all grew up in steady households and everything!”
martin spent at least two years with a manipulative, shallow, piece of shit who forced sexual acts on him or made him feel guilty when he didn’t want to participate in sexual activities and guilted marty into pleasuring him which made martin feel like absolute hell during and after
this guy also cheated on him and projected that onto martin and his best friend, made fun of him because he’s deaf, got shitty about hearing breaks and refused to learn asl or change for martin and —
“he’s fine(:”
martin has severe anxiety, he’s also got a taaad (it’s probably pretty severe too) bit of depression, trust issues, is terrified of new people and also can’t stand the thought of having another relationship because his first and only boyfriend fucked him up Bad
he’s also never properly dealt with the trauma of being forced to do things with this guy when he wasn’t ready - he hasn’t properly talked about it or told anyone even his best friend or brother who he trusts more than anyone because he’s afraid he’ll be thought of less or they will think of him differently or he thinks they’ll judge him
“he’s good. he’s not traumatized!!”
marty struggles day in and day out to look and be perceived as happy even though he is consumed with thoughts about xander - things that were said to him, things that were done or he was made to do
“he’s great!!”
it’s the equivalent to the “my child is fine.):<“ joke.
im going to talk about martin because he’s my favorite and i love him and i had a thought last night
anyway i made a very funny joke (it was not funny) and also threw in a quick update about something i’m working on i wanted to inform y’all of
i am trying to work on another part for “deaf” that’s set a little after patrick and brendon’s split that talks about some of the stuff that brendon did and put patrick through that wasn’t expressly or directly talked about in the actual/original story but was mentioned briefly in the end of it
i want patrick to confront these feelings he’s having about what happened and to find the courage to speak out about it and talk to someone /pete at the very least
he deserves to be heard and listened to and to know that everything’s okay and it isn’t his fault and that brendon is a piece of Shit who Will be rotting in hell.
anyway <3
(ignore this if it posts i wanna see something)
me sharing my Brilliant thoughts /j
and wattpad not even letting me post them. ):<
wattpad just
didn’t share my thing huh.
patrick in the docs
it’s killing me. /pos