martin-lewis

me just deciding randomly that my characters have had some sort of abuse inflicted upon them

martin-lewis

this message may be offensive 
me creating all of these “original” characters :
          	  
          	  “i didn’t even give any of them trauma! they all grew up in steady households and everything!”
          	  
          	  martin spent at least two years with a manipulative, shallow, piece of shit who forced sexual acts on him or made him feel guilty when he didn’t want to participate in sexual activities and guilted marty into pleasuring him which made martin feel like absolute hell during and after 
          	  this guy also cheated on him and projected that onto martin and his best friend, made fun of him because he’s deaf, got shitty about hearing breaks and refused to learn asl or change for martin and —
          	  
          	  “he’s fine(:”
          	  
          	  martin has severe anxiety, he’s also got a taaad (it’s probably pretty severe too) bit of depression, trust issues, is terrified of new people and also can’t stand the thought of having another relationship because his first and only boyfriend fucked him up Bad 
          	  he’s also never properly dealt with the trauma of being forced to do things with this guy when he wasn’t ready - he hasn’t properly talked about it or told anyone even his best friend or brother who he trusts more than anyone because he’s afraid he’ll be thought of less or they will think of him differently or he thinks they’ll judge him
          	  
          	  “he’s good. he’s not traumatized!!”
          	  
          	  marty struggles day in and day out to look and be perceived as happy even though he is consumed with thoughts about xander - things that were said to him, things that were done or he was made to do 
          	  
          	  “he’s great!!”
          	  
          	  
          	  it’s the equivalent to the “my child is fine.):<“ joke.
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martin-lewis

im going to talk about martin because he’s my favorite and i love him and i had a thought last night
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martin-lewis

anyway!
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martin-lewis

me just deciding randomly that my characters have had some sort of abuse inflicted upon them

martin-lewis

this message may be offensive 
me creating all of these “original” characters :
            
            “i didn’t even give any of them trauma! they all grew up in steady households and everything!”
            
            martin spent at least two years with a manipulative, shallow, piece of shit who forced sexual acts on him or made him feel guilty when he didn’t want to participate in sexual activities and guilted marty into pleasuring him which made martin feel like absolute hell during and after 
            this guy also cheated on him and projected that onto martin and his best friend, made fun of him because he’s deaf, got shitty about hearing breaks and refused to learn asl or change for martin and —
            
            “he’s fine(:”
            
            martin has severe anxiety, he’s also got a taaad (it’s probably pretty severe too) bit of depression, trust issues, is terrified of new people and also can’t stand the thought of having another relationship because his first and only boyfriend fucked him up Bad 
            he’s also never properly dealt with the trauma of being forced to do things with this guy when he wasn’t ready - he hasn’t properly talked about it or told anyone even his best friend or brother who he trusts more than anyone because he’s afraid he’ll be thought of less or they will think of him differently or he thinks they’ll judge him
            
            “he’s good. he’s not traumatized!!”
            
            marty struggles day in and day out to look and be perceived as happy even though he is consumed with thoughts about xander - things that were said to him, things that were done or he was made to do 
            
            “he’s great!!”
            
            
            it’s the equivalent to the “my child is fine.):<“ joke.
• Reply

martin-lewis

im going to talk about martin because he’s my favorite and i love him and i had a thought last night
• Reply

martin-lewis

anyway!
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martin-lewis

anyway i made a very funny joke (it was not funny) and also threw in a quick update about something i’m working on i wanted to inform y’all of 
          i am trying to work on another part for “deaf” that’s set a little after patrick and brendon’s split that talks about some of the stuff that brendon did and put patrick through that wasn’t expressly or directly talked about in the actual/original story but was mentioned briefly in the end of it

martin-lewis

this message may be offensive 
i want patrick to confront these feelings he’s having about what happened and to find the courage to speak out about it and talk to someone /pete at the very least 
            he deserves to be heard and listened to and to know that everything’s okay and it isn’t his fault and that brendon is a piece of Shit who Will be rotting in hell. 
            anyway <3
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martin-lewis

not necessarily important but i need everyone to know that the deaf!patrick thing
          even if it seems like they would get together because it’s obvious pete’s got a crush on him and as mentioned patrick did like kissing him and he does (i think) also like pete they won’t
          
          i did have an idea that Maybe far into the future they would
          but 
          not right now or anytime soon 
          and that’s also not a definite in any sense if i were to pick up on this story again in the future

martin-lewis

So close to buying instruments that i probably won’t end up learning to play but like
          the buttercream bass specifically <3
          and 
          Bb clarinet <33
          anyway

martin-lewis

except i’ll play it for like
            a week 
            and then forget about it even if it’s prominently displayed.
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martin-lewis

okay but i do know how to play clarinet so that wouldn’t be a Complete waste
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